Break the Wall

perhaps it's really time to focus on something. something specific. i just realised that we can really not do two things at one period perfectly. you gotta sacrifice something, babe. i dont know what the heck is moving in my head now but one thing though, i'm not very happy. life is treating me so unfairly. things that i always opt for, never come to me. when i turn around to laugh at it, it's coming. gawd, by the time it's there for me, my passion for it has already gone. somehow, knowing myself, i would grab it without hesitating. and later when time comes, just when i'm reluctant to let it be gone, i'll be regretful. what a...woman!! i'm just such person, i aint sceptical but you know, not having anything that you want, if not need, is something really pissful..right, self-invented word, i guess?

i have a new dream. and im going for it, right, not revealing! babiez, im back on track! everyone is forgiven now! i wonder who's done wrong so far though, to me, heek... am i forgiven? aww..

Distress not

and now i wonder if we should take everything that seriously, to the extent where we take that as a responsibility and we dont even have a slight idea when we will carry it till, it's sorta strenuous to me and on top of that quite vague too. it's amusing (right) , things seem to happen so unpredictably. what more could we ask for? of a life, so erratic. and in occasions, life is too fair it seems. when we're having the time of our lives, it surely takes something away from us; every new beginning is some beginning's end, same token. more or less. consequently, i am doubtful over every little sweet things that happens, at one moment i could be enjoying excessively, the next thing you know, something has just screwed up. is this what we live for? fact says human is not perfect, i personally think life is not perfect too, it wont be. right, they wont be, indeed.

as for me, speculation is always the best friend of mine. you could also assume i'm a little psychic but in an opposite way. therefore i dare not think of all the good and blissful things that'd happen on me, though i always hope they will. what pathetic! hah, every so often i choose not to think. isnt it the best solution to not let myself feel distress?

life goes on, people!

Hidden Love

Finally found the answer to my one question..
Love is just next to me, indeed. i feel it up inside.

Blessed with Love, once again.


With Love, Life is so wonderful. Cheers. =p

Where's the Love? (All by Myself)

i wish i could turn back time.

this is one thing i would really love to do, at the moment. then again, i dont wanna walk through the same phase over again. it's sickening. all this while no matter what i do, it's somehow wrong to at least one party. until i got to know myself better when i encounter something innate myself. its always all by myself. when i reach out for someone, think myself. that's the answer i always get. am i living myself, today?

i hate myself for being emotional. i know i shouldnt. cuz its really something tiny. what am i.. every steps that i take could be a biggest mistake..i'm tired of all these freaking shit!!! i wanna breathe!!

i'm profoundly depressed. i miss everything.. i dont wanna stand on my own. i dont want.. i dont wanna act like a kid..and i'm not! i'm crazy, i should have done something more meaningful than this... i'm still a kid. that's right.

without love, what is life?