Born to Try

it's in the middle of the chinese new year. i should be very excited but apparently, im not. it's not about stuff which involves gambling or money; it's totally nothing to do with that. i did a personality test few minutes ago, which i have done last year but didnt know the purpose of doing it over again just now; i was oblivious to the fact that it had to say about me last year, not until just now.

perhaps it's about the timing. i started to think deeply. friends i have a whole bunch but when it comes to soulmate, i think i have.. not to say none. perhaps subconsciously i really keep big problems to myself and if you are going to ask me, i have no idea is what i'll have for the question you ask. i dont like to burden people and i dont like others to worry things with me as well. it's not right i guess but i find it hard to open my heart and worse still when it comes to secret between me and another person, who cares if it's a he or she, i really am not going to tell. a lot of people confide in me but why cant i confide in them, as in big problems? i am no cynical, it's not like that. i do have faith in people but it's darn hard to really tell it to someone. small things like guys, luxuries, lifestyles and so on, i do tell. and what you think i have left out, is actually what i am facing. go figure.

a person confided in me; very special person. this person touched me intensely. in the absence of touching or being touched, people of all ages can sicken or grow touch-starved. what do you think? anyway, that person asked me not to tell anyone, i guess i have to keep it to myself again. worse still, it's somehow something slightly related to me. others' problems i like to hear and give my opinions on but, you know life's like that, it's easier to be said than done; when it really happens to you, you really not gonna do what you should do. sigh, i dont know how.

perhaps i am born to try it on my own. keeping big things to ourselves, do you agree?