deception

ever since i got here, i must have to admit that i dont really take much time to ponder about things. all i do, is just complaining. im such a bitch. i no longer have such remarkable sense of sensitivity nor rationality. i wear a mask everyday as i wake up to the morning. i would say i am growing up, being ignorant. this is blatantly unforgivable that i almost let everything that used to be so precious to me, slip away. im watchin it as it fades yet my hands are still crossed tiedly to my stubborn arms with my wayward hair standing on the other side of mine that i despise.


i lie to myself so much that i almost surrenderred myself to the neverland. even il divo has come out with the very brand new album, the promise. as im listening to it, my goosebumps subtly move to their music as well. it always has such impact on me, perhaps im just too used to this *beep* mundane life that i could only make contact with the soul of the music. but i was the one, who has chosen this path, i know i'll have to carry on, until the end of day. even though there was no other concrete reason for me to be strong, i know that the family love will always find me home. grace like rain.


why should i lie to myself when i deserve a much better one? why am i still here when the desk is compiled with virgin papers? why should i shed a tear for you when there are so much more to life? why the hell did i only realise it when i cry?



because im a nuisance. halleluja.