Pierced

wanted to blog few days ago actually but maybe i wasnt destined to do so, this blogger and the unstable connection that i've been having since well? weeks ago? months ago? are driving me nuts..which precisely hint you the reason why i seldom blog these days..and of course undeniably i'm indeed doing my procrastination quite frequent..XD it has to stop though as you know, examnination is drawing nearer and nearer..feel like closing my left eye, to not to care about it. what about my right eye, does this question come to your mind? lolz if i close both of my eyes, meaning i'm totally being ignorant, hehe and then i'd be guilty for myself, blek!

alrighty, there's this saying which goes and i know you are familiar with it, no planning is planning to fail..any idea? i'm sure you do. well, come to think of it, most of the time things just dont work out the way you want it to be, whether it's better or worse. it's just not what you want. then again, it happens on me, and honestly most of em are the latter one. isnt it saddening? by the same token, when there's something of your interest is going on and you'll surely happen to be on tenterhooks, wondering what on earth is going to happen next, could it be this or that and bla bla, dont you think it's not necessary? fearing for the worst is somewhat a feeling you wouldnt wanna have, honestly, right? instead, when you dont plan, for once and for all, things just happen. and then when it happens, it's then only time for you to either be excited about it or fall into the suicidal trap..yeah i'm exaggerating..hehe..it might sound a little risky, you know to risk your life or something but think on the other side, my peers, with this simple plan, you dont have to even be worried before the thing happens, aint it better? arent we encouraged to live happily..everyday?

here's the thing, they say if you dont plan for something, you're actually planning to risk your future away..that's right, at times. my view is that planning is good but what if the outcome isnt pleasant? you're gonna be downcasted for a few days then? you'll be upset if the outcome is no good because you've spent time planning for it. likewise, if you dont plan, things will not necessary turn out to be bad. if it so happens to be a failure, then you'll regret but you wont be that downcasted as to be compared to the former, meaning to plan..am i right? this is one of the many paradoxes that we face, they both cant exist at the same time..so deal with it, to plan, or not?

my ears are pierced. my fate is destined. do i have to spend time worrying about my past and/or future? your answer for me is No. yet can you tell me, you never worried about it?

Faith

well, blogging is a total fun..when you're writing about something that has happened, you're actually talking to yourself..as in you would somewhat feel more comfortable..and sometimes even realise something from what you've just written, ya know whether you were doing anything wrong or said something bad to someone..it's just pleasant, having to perceive what you have done wrong or right..precisely just a fulfillment about yourself..

faith, i sometimes am not sure whether to believe somebody's words..it might be coming out from a totally clowny expression on the face or rather, a solemn one..neither one is safe to be trusted on eh..well, humans wear on masks..i'm quite sure of that people, there's no one living in this world who is actually totally of himself, if this person ever exists, i wonder how wide is his social circle..well okay, sometimes cracking up white lies can be good, you might not be aware that white lie is also considered as a lie, isnt it a sin? it does no harm (uh-huh) but because it does no harm, do you then think it's right to tell lies? haha, right to be wrong can be well-applied to this eh..

whenever it reaches a knot, i usually want to handle it my way..all right, ya have to listen to both sides if your friends or family are having arguments because it would be so unfair for both sides; without giving them a single chance to do their own explanations..agree? sometimes though, chances are just not there for you to clear things up the way you wanted it to..what i am trying to say is that everybody has their prerogatives to do anything..on their own..it all depends whether you want it to..it's just something of your own again you see..

it has got nothing to do with faith eh? sorry dear readers i often get carried away and keep turning circles round and round to finally getting back to the main point i was wanting to voice out on..haha..faith oh faith..i'm not sure if i should believe somebody's adulations or are those words for real? you know it's hard to comprehend what on earth is actually in a person's mind..

well you might wanna say that's life..and life's unpredictable eh?? alrighty please forgive me of my bovine stupidity of not being able to differentiate someone else's words..or is there any otherwise?

No Idea man..

have ya ever come across a moment whereby you feel depressed..broken all of a sudden? well..i guess i face it almost everyday..ya know i can be laughing like i'm in heaven with ya right now and when something strikes me even without myself even realising it the next moment, i can be damn curseful..going moody all my way..i dont understand why..why do i have this kinda so-called moodswings, perhaps? or is there something wrong inside? argh..

sometimes being somebody of my age, i wonder if there's actually something which could be perfectly done by me, myself..com'on if there's something please remind me about it..as we would be pressuring ourselves on every fridays calling out to hell just to accomplish the tasks that are given out by teachers and the chief reason of it is just to save ourselves from the drudgery of having to eventually get it all done by the weekend..dont you think it's a little too much..ya know, arent we supposed to be living life to its fullest and forget about all the 'hardwork' we have to take?? sigh talking about life, i'm just clueless..you see, i sometimes go for tuition which somehow somewhat seems to be an interminable ninety minutes..aint it dull?

i bloodily yearn for the answer..

Fragile Heart

just as i was about to release myself from this hassle, someone just took it out on me..saying as if i do not deserve any heck frm 'em..and yes i am sick of hearing those white lies..so you think it's good for me..well i certainly am prepared to yell it out loud straight to your face how selfish you are, and how ya dont make any VIP spaces deep down my heart, you're just a nobody....as if i'm really gonna do this.. i, as usual, just do not have the guts to do some kinda shoutings and yellings..especially when i think twice it's just not worth it, for someone like you, dude? better to say, i'm just not willing to scratch for scars for such person like you..

in occasions you're to blame for the bluntness you're blessed with and give the credits to whom who has been giving you everything....well, do bear in mind that you sometimes get things which you dont really need it and on the other hand, when you think you deserve something else, it's just not yours..eventually your will to get it turns into hatred..and later on, everything will be messed up..human beings only struggle for their needs and are undoubtly greedy, it's so blatant to see that sometimes we dont really need to have those not-necessary fracas...it's crazy, isnt it..people survive for nothing..if it's not the combat between you and i then this world is filled with colours between he and i..or whatsoever..what's the exact point of it? however far you are, you're still a person who strives for a living..just like anyone of us..nothing special..the only thing that makes it special is you, whether you can poke a unique side of you..

stop it carm, you're going out of your mind! if there's a special song to fix this problem i'd sing it everyday..

Ice-Cream Day!

so there's this somebody by the name of, wenlong, haha..requested to have this kinda title..coz the previous ones were hehe, i admit tht, were kinda depressing..too solemn i guess..u know when you're too into something, you kinda feel sad and down..i dont know why, or maybe it only happens on me..

today's title..is IceCream Day..any surprises? well i didnt eat ice cream just now..i had a slice of white chocolate cake instead..all right, thanks to my friends for that..and coincidently today's my lil bro's birthday..i promised him i'll sing him 50cent's InDaClub...and a kiss on the ChEeK..just for him! i dont know why he wants a kiss from me, haha, same goes to dad..i wonder if my elder brother would want a kiss from me...jet, huh? how about it? lolz..

actually i ate icecream yesterday with..haha..whole family except my mother..coz she has diabetics..aww..i pray hard i didnt get it in the near future..coz it's reaaally depressing..u know, you ought to have to eat some sweetening stuffs to lighten yourself at times, yet once you're infected with this contagious disease..all i can say is that i'm just sorry for ya.. you have to cut down on those kinda food..and your happy days will be less..*pray hard*

funny, today's the very start n the very beginning of my examination and i'm celebrating it..for god's sake, i'm not going school tomorrow..oh hey, i'm just making a wise choice..haha..stick to the thought of me being lazy..coz i'm used to it..haha..to myself i suppose? to some people, i'm hardworking though..but i'd rather you assuming i'm a lazy person coz i'm not too lazy, not too hardworking..teehee...

so here goes the guy thing again, i dont know how to deal with it this time, i'll just let time be the judge..should it be fated, then it is..nothing much to be worried about eh..

gosh, i guess this ice-cream-day title has to come to an end...while i'm blogging, i'm chatting with one of my classmates...just got to know that she has to buy outside food everyday while i can enjoy my mama's dishes everyday!..almost everyday at least...i'm feeling so bad that sometimes i kinda complain my mama's dish isnt salty enough..isnt spicy enough..and so on..and so on!!what's happening??!! why is there to feel that i'm so useless all of a sudden.. carm, you should do something..argh, i guess there's nothing much i could do..sigh..hopefully this girl i know is really happy with her life, that's what she said to me..well, i dont wish to elaborate more on her parents..just that they really do love her..sometimes situation just pushes us a lil too hard..but that's life i know..sigh..

no angel..


i appreciate everything in life...i really do..and have a pleasant ice-cream day, everyone! oh by the way, happy birthday to everyone who's blowing candles today, but of course one special wish from a sister to her brother..happy birthday, ant (he prefers to being called this way, hehe)! well, i know though he wont check out my blog, but it's just a little something from me, hehe..