idle

aggravated i am. with myself. im am soooo lazy. didnt do much study lately, i should get started right now. as the final exam of the year is near. so freaking right there. almost all of my friends are having their sweet holiday, some are dwelling on with part-time job, the rest just enjoy their time rotting at home, if not hanging out everyday with acquaintances. i dont mean im jealous though, relatively im kinda strained with the remaining time i have got left (not gonna die yet-lah). i have to study, all right, i'd better rephrase - i chooose to study!! i should have this mindset, rather.

well my doppelganger has left for India to further her studies in dentistry. from my deepest core, i wish her all the best. we've known each other ever since young, really young, like, when we were in our kindergarten. we werent close, well, heck knows! hehe.. fate brought us back together when we reached 13. we were finally classmates again, and then, we formed a group of associates. i really appreciate this relationship. it is just depressing because i live really far from their places, therefore, very few reunion. i even made things worse by transferring outta the school at 15. yeah all blames on me, im still glad im still keeping them as my close friends. more activities in the future, aight?

watching her tears flowing down the cheek, i got gloomy. reason being i didnt spend much time with her before today, hehe. luckily though, i made it to the KLIA this morning to see her off. she has totally broaden her circle of friends now, i didnt feel much neglected though. we meet people along the way. im blessed with many of them too. very close indeed. its all right as long as the people i care are happy with their surroundings. their lives.

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there are many things ahead i havent accomplished that i planned for myself. i find life more challenging now. it's absurd that i have this feeling being apprehensive about my future. perhaps anticipating the unknown. life is truly an enigma! mann!

i wish that i could find the words to say ...