not me, not I

made errands the whole day. i didn't have complaints. it wasnt very much like myself. or perhaps i do act like that, i mean innately im a very patient person or all the good qualities you have in store for me. im influenced by somebody, perhaps?

when i was a little child, i used to behave like a nutcase. when things dont go my way, i would just blurt out all things that came to my freaking mind. i was so thoughtless and inconsiderate. the whole world was afraid of me, or maybe they hated me. i didnt care less. as time goes by, i came to understand many of my deeds are almost close to being a cannibal, the only thing that makes me different is that i dont eat them alive. right, it's like there's nothing else i'd do. mind you, im never a spoilt kid, even though im the only female at home, apart from my mom of course. relatives used to 'wonder' if i've swapped my sex with my brother's. should i be mad or sad? well, i ignored.

things are better now. i should carry on with my changes. for god's sake, i dont see the good values i have instinctively. guess that's something i should be proud of. or not.

***

as i turn on some old songs, i wish i could go back to the old days, when i was so naive. look i was still a kid, less responsibilities. i was only a mad fan of mtv and channel [v], nothing else. dude there goes my life. certain times, i would long to watch the Lizzie McGuire. Hehe. kinda find myself being girlish, which is hilarious.

have i changed or do i remain the same? well, this is somewhat a post - believe it or not. cheers.