Blue October hates me.

perhaps one day when i can move along, i will wake up.

just feel like screaming my bloody lungs out, it's been inside of me for a long period of time already but i havent really gushed it out to you, somehow, ultimately i would. why cant anyone hear me when im calling out for them? as i've always said, the world's never been good to me, or rather i didnt very much appreciate em, but still, i will not have regrets. well, what's more to say then, good things never really give way to people like me.

i might have too high of an expectation but its how you perceive such things in your way, well perhaps, perhaps i should look at it in a different perspective, is it time to have a change, dear?

and hell no, i will never degrade it. like, why say 'pink' when you can say 'fuschia'?

do i have to do the same damn thing over and over again? im angry and i find it dramatically unfair. there are things i really dont feel like doing but i cant speak up cuz it will only do me no good, if not harm. at times, i cannot stand the way it is that is happening around me, or perhaps im selfish myself, i just cant get over some things i am particular with. all right, i'll need some time for that. excuse me.

and another thing is that im blogging all these what seems like a vain effort, hoping something would actually favour this hooligan. laugh with it and to say goodbye to my october. yes its mine, mind you. So long, not good night.