ben lomond ski trip

woohoooo!!!

yeah, jet and i went Ben Lomond yesterday along with some other friends. it was amazingly amusing! the first thing that came to my head this morning was.. fatigue! my whole body is aching, like i have done some really hard work or somethin, lol. it really felt like a day after a whole day of swimming by the beach, getting tanned. pheww, finally a good rest. indeed, i dont deny i actually am having a great repose, stress-free lifestyle. things have been awesome here, i cant complain.

we got up at a quarter to 7 in the morning, as usual, we were late. we couldnt have our hearty breakfast. very quickly we dived into our 3 or 4 layers of clothing with a thick sweater and took off from our place. well i managed to grab a piece of chocolate for sure because i wont torture my stomach, hehe. there, our journey began.

reached our destination at about 10? for the love of the ice, the white ambience, i didnt really check out the time. as i was gobbling down the sandwiches, people there were already capturing photos of themselves with their self-made snowmen. wheee!!!! im missing all the decent moments there. alrighty, we then went to ski, the most fun i got among all the activities we had. ah, not really. only that. haha! i didnt play the toboggan, i didnt play the snowboard...ehhh wait, i think i had a lil fun with snowboard before i settled down with the poles. keke, smiles are still on my pinky face. =) i wont go into very excruciating details of evrything because you were not there with me, and if, if i really share all of em with you here, the only smart ass thing that you would think of is how dumb and how cute i was...geeeee!! fine, i fell down hell lots of times but i didnt break myself and am still in one piece!! hehe, you bet!

gawd i miss the place. the batteries of all screens from camera to handphone went all flat. therefore not many photos were taken. and we could only blame ourselves for not making good enough preparation. anyhow thanks to jenabi and jan for their cameras. how pathetic of us siblings! guess we should count our blessings, couldnt ask for more. at least we saw everything with our innocent eyes, it was more than meets the eye.

when jet lost his control but i was the one falling down! hmph!!


xoxo.

it's you.

all good returns to my beloved friends. i have a whole batch of acquintances who are celebrating their birthdays this month. haha, in fact it is rather ridiculous to say this because every single month they'll be friends/buddies who'd be blowing the candles on the birthday cakes. some, of course i dont give a shit, they're just 'friends'. lol. you will only need your feelings to tell you who your close friends are; those who treat you in a very genuine way. it doesnt have to be unique, it just comes from the heart. i really appreciate those people around, sometimes i seriously can't believe the love i feel. friends, truly an enigma. you'll have your ups and downs; at times you do have arguments or conflicts with them, but even the worsts will be over someday. what else is there? when i start to crack my mind, i guess i hardly even have huge conflicts with my close friends. perhaps the tolerance and consideration are there. and i hate quarelling. fortunately all these while i could get myself away from it. hehe. oh, not forgetting the power of love, its incomparable. though i have to admit i make really big noise at home. maybe i was just naive lol.

well, dont get distracted when the words 'friends come and go' suddenly flash in your mind because even lovers come and go and the list goes on. it depends on how you see it, really. i just shrug them all off. nothing special. if you really have the passion for it, there's no distance that's far, be it emotional neglect or physical distance. you'll always feel them around you. to be away from home, i came to realise alot of wonderful things. its incredible. friends or lovers or offsprings or whatever, they're of the same equation. or perhaps for lovers, there's a lustful thing called sex, or intimate moments or whatever you call it, that's fine. no matter how far you are, you'll still be thinkin about them. you do know it differs from time to time, dont you? different occasions, different people in mind.

right now feeling the silence, im thinkin of you...

happy birthday to the Cancers and Leos.
trust yourself. you know you're better than anyone else.

only a shadow

i love myself, its not a sin.

imagination's taking over.

hands up! repo-repo!

i watched this trailer few days back but didnt have my sweet time to share it with you guys out there, haha put all the blames on me, my sloth! if you're ever interested, u may click here. its about a stage play being transformed to a rock op'ra shit, directed by darren lynn bousman of the Saw sequels. wheee, im so very fascinated by the music makers. a number of my favourite musician is in there, and surprisingly sarah brightman and paris hilton are also in the film, weird combination but sounds cool, alongside anthony stewart head, alexa vega and paul sorvino!! i am so looking forward to watching it in the cinema babes!!

had a few nice conversations with my babe therefore im definitely NOT emo right now. alrighty lets break down to this, i went to the city yesterday. as usual for the whole day, i was out shopping. i've been restricting myself from spending, or rather wasting money on 'things that i need'. for all these while, i know myself, i've been always searching for reasons to buy things but deep down solely i know that i do not need them, more like a yearn-for, basically they're things that i dont have to buy but here's an honest confession to make, i really love buying things i adore. once i've started forking out money from my purse, it will never stop. im insane i know but i actually managed to refrain myself from buying yet another handbag yesterday!! it was a bomb for me, but hell yeah thanks to my bro on the phone, being anxious about how if i really get my hands on the bag, so there it was, the bag is still there!!! i was like, it's really cheap and worth it (not really lol). then. "there're alot of so-called worthy and admirable things in the world, do you have all the money in the world to make them yours?" still i wasnt conscious, though i did walk out from the shop, with his friend. i didnt buy-lah. lol, poor friend, got a lecture from him. haha.

that's the problem im facing now. please carmen, stop spending and start saving!! oh by the way, REPO! the genetic Opera! watch that trailer babe! definitely no regrets. adios.

"...this is not your parents' opera!", composers darren smith and terrance zdunich.

being fake

i cant believe im eating suga-lollies right now at this time. it is a gift from jet's friend very long time ago. he has been keeping it, for the love of chatting, i think he's forgotten that this thing actually still exists in his rack. therefore he should thank me, cuz im helpin him finish em. for your information, i've never really fancied sweets, lollipops, candies..anything but chocolate, oh bittersweet chocolates. nice. though i think im a little down now, i have no idea why. its moodswings, perhaps? but for everyone who's moody, there's gotta be a reason. maybe its a reason that's close to being an excuse that im so reluctant to share. you know, its not that i dont want to but.. its gonna create havoc if i do.

it is so late at night, jet is snoring(no u didnt see this lol) sleeping soundly. he's sleeping with his hoodie, its cute. aww he's got an itch and he's scratching it. well that reminds me of this little philosophy; fill the empty, empty the full. when there's itch, scratch it. is life just as simple? i dont think so. then again, i also know that when there's a 'prroblem', it indicates the process of growing up. and im sure that will make us stronger. i strongly believe that because i've gone through some really hard times. who doesn't, anyway?

at times i do get envious of people who could be having fun every single day. dont they have worries? im sure they do. or is it just me or they are good at covering up or god is giving them the easier way to walk this broken road?

suddenly oh suddenly, breathing seems so hard to do.



























































































































































im not dead yet. im just stuck and at the bottom of this box, they're plenty of conversations to make. i could be so passionately replying or the otherwise. im sorry babe, im not in the mood. at this time now, as i was hovering my mouse searching for something, i found this.

it was taken when i just got off from a very happening shopping spree and right after that i was gonna go to this place called Crown where i lost big bucks there, yeah it's indeed a casino. talkin about that actually makes me smile. what's happened to me, do i miss those days when i keep dishing out money? hehe. well, the funny thing is, i actually feel alot better now.

yeah, i think im a nutcase. and i think you're speechless now too. =) oooh, okay..i know i looked kinda shhweeet to some (thanks!) and pretty effing fugly to others (thanks too!!) but i couldnt care less, could i?

cheers. this is how easy to crack myself up. only i can do that, i just realised. so. peace out! xoxo.

Korean Ricecake!!!

wow, i didnt know and never ever in any way i should have a tinge of this tiny thought that i'd get to taste this pretty-awesome dish right here at Tassie!!! its ricecakee!!!!!!!!! hahaha, didnt really like this in Sydney, at one of the restaurants that caught my brother, Jet's eyes. he bought 2 or 3 boxes i guess. its that delicious to him! well, as for me, i only liked the spicy sauce and the taufu. well, i could still remember that moment, i was holding my bladder (yes, again lol) looking for toilet. hehe. so what about today? the korean guy, George actually made us some really delicious ricecake! hehe, yummy. i loved the sauce, typical me. hehe.

to tell the truth, when i was writing this blog, i was politely yelled by Jet saying that it was his turn to surf the internet therefore i've in fact saved this post as draft and im 'completing' it. so yeah, i had an unexpected nice snacks! cool!

there was a time when he asked, "do you want me to make again?" frankly in my heart i was jumping and yelling a big yes, but of course, i only gave him a smile. hey, my reputation and image are essential, haha! it was very generous of him anyway..

unchanging.

people can just go so crazily-mad abt 3G iphone. someone actually told me in a quick catch up in Sydney about how he has been awaiting the phone to be launched and that he would definitely sign up for the plan. well, you know who you are! hehe. long-awaited 3G iphone, people actually crave for you. the circle is getting bigger. and bigger. have u got yours now? =)

im not so sure if i should get a hand on that.
whatever.

previously i was so obssessed about blogging. i would think of my blog at all times, about what i've written. its all about self-actualization as i've mentioned in earlier posts. perhaps much, much earlier on. you will ultimately realise the consequences that might occur or might not in what you have done or have said throughout the whole day. i have random feelings now, with so much sorrow...ahhhh...i wouldnt 'label' it as sorrow, but a thing to ponder on. i should because it is time.

i spoke to this korean guy just now. we have shared a short conversation while he was having his hotpot with ham and seasoned squids ( wow, its nice! =p ) and me, drinkin my milk and chewing on the chunky pink lady apple. ah, it is always times like this when people ask me, "how do you do here? " or "what are you doing right now?". i would be all stunned. i did not really know how to answer them. for the record i would actually blame myself deep inside, why did i not work a little harder on my previous examination so that my life now would be easier. and that everytime when others ask me those questions, i would have a quick answer in my head and to be proud of. not now though.

look at me now, i laugh it away.

don't worry about me, it is similar to, Love is just a feeling. metaphorically it means the same. lol. i will stand up and do a Phoebe-Comeback. perhaps it didnt all go so well, but im certain that there should always be a small group of audience. they will be supporting me all the way, won't you? thankeeew very muchhh..!!

nice.

dont get me wrong though. i do not treat Love as being only a feeling. its the otherwise instead. i appreciate all the love in the world. let's say a little prayer for the Darkness for misleading us!! haha. in some ways, they do make sense. i think im also missing some of my friends here, now that im so far apart away from you guys, of course, i miss my family more! hehehe. and my very close friend-cum-mentor. she knows who she is if she ever visits my blog. and if she has time. and provided with another IF, she still remembers my blog since there are so many carmen-s since foreverrr~~ lol. i will stop now cuz i know im getting a lil crappy right now. haha.

uhm, waiting for my brother..but i already knew what he would say once he comes home. "any complaints?" lol. such a good and adorable sister i am! *winks* well, you don't practically have to know what that relates to, but yeah, you dont have to know. wahhaa. im insane. GEE! my bladder is full, gonna pee now! see ya!

you are my rock, the one i hold on to.
still you make time for me, i can't understand.
how beautiful is your unfailing love.
my unfailing love.

aussie, im here!

perhaps its due to the little awkward side of me that i only have the inspirational thoughts when im really having a problem to myself. most of the time when i do post, its only because i have severe contemplation or too depressing moments. they're normally untold and kept inside of me. and me. however i hope this time, i post, is not enthused by my sad moments, or rather, emotional feelings.

how time has passed, im already right here in australia. remember how i yearned to quit my job and come to aussie? i worked hard for this. well, i would say that im having alot of fun here, as well as anxieties. i have sorta forgotten what are those like, but happy moments, they're all inside my head. okok, as for the depressing part, in a way, i grow with them too, they're still kept with me in a subtle way. for good! uhm, guess i wont spill the beans out to you.

i have been to many places that i dont even know where to start with myself. i am currently shaking my legs in melbourne city at the very precious moment. why would i bring it out this way, basically because i've so fallen in love with this city that i dread to get back to tassie in a few days' time. i wouldnt say i despise tasmania but it is really calm and peaceful there. hello, im 19? for sure i would love somewhere where i could bring out the lively side of me..lol i mean, places like sydney or melbourne. tassie is a place of too many 'civilised' ones, erh they do not have the hyperactive feeling, if you get me. lol. okay, im goin on 20, stop doubting. so, whatever. hehe. throughout all these days, i have learnt alot. this is really a knowledgeable trip, for the record im still kicking in the city. its not the end yet, wow! =) in whatever way that it may cost me, it is all so worthwhile. i dont think i can ever do this when im really focusing in my studies in a bit, or when im in the working society. figure this out, who can ever take a 3 months of break and spend some money, getting away from the sickening country (well, sometimes it does piss me off, lol) and go abroad, to a country of your own options and spend hell lots of money on shopping spree, foooood, adventures...and the list goes on??!!

australia is a beautiful country, malaysia isn't.

i have taken many pictures but i dont have the time to upload all of them here, hehe it is also due to my slight procrastination but anyhow if you have facebook, you may be able to view all of the nice photos there, i do that so that my adorable mom can get access to the pictures at home herself and she doesnt have to bug me about how the condition right here is treating me. hehe, just joking, of course i would be more than willing to tell her the detailed information IF she ever calls. the thing is, she will not. yeah! pictures say more than a thousand words anyway... therefore the conclusion is, FACEBOOK!!! =p

i have so much things to say but so little time. it's close to 4am right now and i gotta get up at 8 or 9 am later? lol im traveling, that's why!! i can't possibly wake up at noon every day right, on top of that its Winter time!! argh, friggin' cold... =(

Just so you know...

malaysia is my country, australia isn't.
i am contented with what i already have and will have.
be proud to be a malaysian people!

to be cont'd.