-End-

one word.
exhausted.

no more october rains, my lovely october.
and hello november!

Dainty Havoc

just cant make up my mind. according to the horoscope, a libran can hardly make his/her decision easily. it contributes a lot of scratching the hell out of your head. this is sooo ... me.

i've always found myself in dilemmas. whenever i want to do something, i just cant do it readily. it's either the other side of my brain asking me not to do or just do it! it's times like these when i got stranded.when i ask for others' opinions, they'll just ask me to think about it and figure it out by myself. what's the point of it? i mean, if i know what to do then why will i waste my saliva and ask something that i have already had my final answer? you close the door behind you and do you ever turnaround when you're in a rush? probably no. does it all even make sense to you then?

my emotions are always ruined by the unexpected occurrences. i believe everybody feels the same too. a typical malaysian will just keep everything on the low and go with the flow. what's with the others then? we have the clue.

i'm in a predicament of trying to decide whether or not to take the part-time job.

Wrong Decision

oh man, i shouldnt have gone to school today!! i am still regretting right now. grr- i was sooo boring sitting in the classroom doing nothing because the teachers arent teaching due to the numbers of students who are absent today. well, even if the whole class are present, the teachers wont be teaching as well. sigh.

how could that be, the first double period were pjk lesson and didnt know what could possibly caused me of being such lazee that i just didnt feel like streching my body today. how sad. i know earlier that it would be a total boredom. you know, teachers are not teaching anymore so what's the purpose of going to school? it cant be that going to school to communicate with others right? other schools are already having their school holiday break, just not my school. it's unfair.

go to school is not a problem, but please give us something to do. i mean, not same old exercises, how bout a quiz? i know it's too much to ask from this school. hey, this is not anything regarding to prejudice, this school's teachers will never have quizzes with us. i'm wondering what they expect us to do in the classroom. apart from self-studying i mean.

err, i feel that i'm a fastidious person all of a sudden. *blush* think i need to do explanation, as i am totally not that kinda person, hehe! sure you guys know me well. but talking about characteristic, i do admit that i can be really indecisive at times. well, i think i'm afraid of making the wrong choice or decision. look, what have i done? what a minor mistake this time around. =)

Malay Torture

especially when it's malay period, i feel the pressure most. the teacher kinda overestimate us, ya know. sometimes we just cant satisfy her, her mood is like the weather; sometimes she's fun to be with, sometimes oh, better not mention. and you know what i actually mean by that i guess. hilariously, she can walk really fast, just like the way when we used to involve ourselves into longrun competition, heh, i challenged her today. it was funny, she cracked me up in the early morning when i was on my way to meet my form teacher to inform her bout our class' attendance. she actually made my day by saying 'look, you much younger and you can walk faster than me, obviously!' then i was like,'heh, thank you and let's challenge again until we meet again!'. 'okay', she laughed. this feels great when you're either making jokes with the teacher or have some time off with them. well, it actually depends on the way the teacher responds. i had a 4-period of malay consequtively!! man, that was quite boring. the teacher was just teaching us the konserto terakhir, only! even though the novel is interesting, as i've admitted before, the teacher shouldnt do that to us when it's obviously next year's syllabus. ridiculously, she's more nervous than us, who are supposed to sit for the SPM next year. she makes me feel like time really flies and it's like, tomorrow is exactly my honour to sit for the SPM!! admire her man.

Runaway

apparently, i had an enormous day with yee yi but now that everything just doesnt go my way, i feel depressed. i know, i shouldnt feel this way but it's just out of my control. [i wanna yell out loud, but i cant. i wanna do it, but i dont have the ability. i wanna gain experiences, but i'm not allowed to.] ...by now.

this is just somewhere only i know, the spot where i stand, no one can give me the precise answer. perhaps, things will go my way. hello, is there anyone out there to mend this fragile heart?

let's runaway.



no, i cant!

Unbelievable

as usual, i had to go back to school and had my lessons!! eww man, i was quite mad actually. it was my add maths lesson, my teacher didnt teach us anything as he claimed that next year's syllabus will be really tough and it will be impossible to just teach us this year; when everyone's losing their mood and craving for the yummy holiday, without a textbook, that's fine though! my teacher was talking crap in the first place with the guys sitting in front; guess he was too bored at the moment, then i took out my malay novel, konserto terakhir, and started to flash it all as soon as possible, for your information, it was really an interesting story and yeah, it's about romance!! well, it's considered a good one as to compare to other malay novels. frankly, i didnt read the previous novels, i mean malay novels here. those were all about wars!! eew!! and sigh. back to it, when i found myself started to yawn, *blush* (as i didnt get enough sleep the previous day) then i dived into my dreamland. of course with my teacher's presence and i bet he knew it! when i was sleeping in the middle of nowhere, i heard a tip-tapping on the windows with a cane, *roll my eyes* beside me and i was awoke by it. once i woke up, i found my 'meticulous' principal standing outside scolding me, i was frightened! not being exaggerated, i have never been scolded by any principals, i was shocked for sure and didnt dare to turn my face at all. i just stared at my drawer and listened, well yeah, pretended to be!! then she came into my classroom and walked around to shoot people; keke, one of my classmates was soo unfortunate that he was dragged downstairs to do some useless thingy. i was no doubt, relieved. i was so embarrassed! but my friends told, a lot of students have been a victim before and it's totally ridiculous that we can never sleep in the classroom, even when the teachers arent teaching and the time when we've finished our exam papers!! it turned out that there's a rule written that once we've finished our exams, we are not supposed to be sleeping but to check the answers all over again and again! this is totally out of the mind!! i cant help myself from sleeping man! anyway, this is a real joke to me!

then it went off to account lesson, which i always find it a boring lesson, surprisingly, today went on quite well. i kinda enjoyed the lesson, wondering why now.

nothing much to talk bout my account lesson and here goes my malay lesson, i didnt like it very much but it's always a pressure to attend this teacher's lesson, she pushed us so hardly man, and is always picking one of us, students to answer her terrifying questions. i managed to cope with that though, of course, whenever i face difficulties in answering, there are always friends there to help me out, appreciate it man! well, this teacher is qualified as a dedicated teacher, really. i am considered the lucky ones to be under her actually. so, thank God, that's all i can say. after that, everything went on quite well.

when it comes to my tuition, there were six of us who were actually intended to take lifts by two taxi drivers but it turned out to be really unbelievable!! guess what, the six of us actually sit in the one cab and headed to our spot, be more precisely, the seven of us!! you figure it out, an easy one! that was really incredible!!! i believe this incident will be footprinted into my memory!! this is utter absurd; dont know why, i just have this unsolved feelings.

woah!! cant believe i'm writing this now, it's already the next day!! funny, i'm gonna dive into my dreamland again!! hehe, this time will never get interrupted or anything!! or perhaps something, then it will be the ghosts and the likes!!! ewww, look out, my goosebumps!! *laugh*

mottos

came across a forwarded message via email and discovered these. i'm gonna live with these from now on! thanks, dear.

activity gets you busy, productivity gets you results; activity consumes time, productivity frees it.

stop analysing life. just lives it. analysis is what makes it complicated. your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. you are worrying because you are analysing. worrying has become your habit. that's why you are not happy.

uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional. pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

diamond cannot be polished without friction. gold cannot be purified without fire. good people go through trials, but don't suffer. with that experience, their life become better, not bitter.

problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength. inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

if you look outside you will not know where you are heading. look inside. looking outside, you dream. looking inside, you awaken. eyes provide sight. heart provides insight.

success is a measure as decided by others. satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. you work with the compass. let others work with the clock.

always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

when we suffer we ask, "why me?" When we prosper, we never ask "Why me?". everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. create it. life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation.

face your past without regret. handle your present with confidence. prepare for the future without fear. keep the faith and drop the fear. don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve.

life is wonderful if you know how to live.

TV shows

i've always liked the Oprah Winfrey show and i watched it just now. it featured Greg Behrendt on this episode, one who writes for HBO's Sex and the City. he talks about his he's just not that into you; promoting his book i reckon. heh, obviously. i enjoyed watching the whole show with this comedian's jokes and yet comes with serious statements which are quite realistic.

not only did i learn from the Oprah Winfrey Show this time, there were a lot of reviews in the past episodes which taught me ways to handle things calmly without fears. it sometimes even requests tears from me and guess what, it used to be one of the materials for me to write something about death in my essay. =)

alright, i'm liking the Wade Robson Project as well, this season's winner, Tyler Banks really did his thing. i'm glad he won in the long run. i was so nervous sitting in front of the tv when Wade announced the winner of this season. guess they're scheduling another season, cant wait man!!

TV shows, i like it all. they're my companion when i'm alone; the time when this computer is monopolised by somebody, hehe. no offense, dear. what i really mean is, the existence of television really rocks a lot of loners' world!

Foodie

I am Gourmet Girl Click on the picture below to read more: Take the 'What Kind of Girl Are You?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

Evening Post

goodbye to the rainy day.

with my current mode, i like the weather now better. i've always liked the rainy days, not these days in the evening though, especially when i'm feeling glum.

as i came back from a friend's church, i walked a short distance in the rain alone just now. it was just a mere drops of tears from the sky on me, but when it started to cry unstoppably heavy, i found a shelter and called my mom there to bring me home. thanks for the help of God, for sending such a kind-hearted worker there to lend me a hand. i lurve my home, it's the best place which i can let my hair down and feel so beautiful.

perhaps, life is really beautiful. we just gotta see it and feel it.

Suffocate A Devil

human are born to learn and experience things in life. the world is inexhaustible; it wont stop moving and will be moving any moment.

we should really understand what we want and do it in advance; not to plan though, you're just making an excuse out of yourself. i have been doing a lot of things and yeah, experienced a lot; either on my own or with somebody's help, but right now i have no idea the purpose of doing so. i was just swinging the pendulum for every seconds to flow; nowhere to go.

people put efforts on doing something but got the feetbacks that's just simply letting you down and wretched. i'm totally depressed and sick of all these things. look up and you could see the flat out ceiling on top of you, feel it. do you think life goes fairly reasonable? without hesitation, sometimes it does. but, what happen to the other times then?

it's bad enough when people's already feeling disappointed and you dont even try to console, why do they still, insist of wanting to increase the frustration of them then? what is the point of it? dont you think it doesnt make sense at all?

be fair to everyone around you, and be good. then, you will be loved.

A lipid - cool

You are a lipid. You know whom you like and whom
you hate, and you like hanging out with people
who think like you do. People who disagree with
you annoy you to no end. You either love
Abercrombie and Fitch or you despise it, but
there's no middle ground. You're polar.


Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Move On

sometimes i just wonder why...
people involve in relationships will draw themselves so deeply into it and when it comes to breaking-up, they just cant move on eventually. aint it over?

teenagers who allow themselves to step into this kinda world at the very young age should be aware of it. as we know, it's just what we've been saying; the puppy love. we havent a clue on the inconceivable future. our minds dont function to that case though genius you could be. why dont they just move on and be happy? i'm not against to starting a relationships but we should love ourselves before we love someone, am i right? in foreign countries, they seem to start these even earlier, do they know what's the point of it, for that matter.

relationships can be really pampering at times. yet, we should know how to avoid the circumstances, like a fight, maybe? in conclusion, just let it all flow by itself, things will eventually turn out to be all right. there's nothing to worry about. crying over spilt milk is no use a battle. com'on dear, just walk out the impossible and move on easily. cheers. and please bear in mind to treasure what we have right now, we might lose one of them the next moment, who knows?

love and peace.

Idols

she definitely deserves this.

sophisticated. stunning. awesome. elegance. remarkable.
first ever malaysian idol, Jacklyn Victor.

i am embarrassed to say, the finale was the only show i watched.
and it was spectacular. it was a total unbelievable.
congrats, jac who brought us a great yet-to-be-released single, gemilang.

kelly clarkson and clay aiken are my idols, no doubt.
well, no comments on the other idols.

A Rush of Fun To The Head

everything's over. this feels awesome!! what a word, brilliant! Cool, life's never been better, i mean the fake plastic nightmare had gone. i know, it's gone for only a really limited period, but at least i can try to do something i've always wanted to do in this upcoming relaxing days. well, not so relaxing actually, God will never let us feel the great refreshing day. He'll at least let the troubles find you or the other way round: we find troubles. For instance, He'll guide us to the wrong conversation, or coincidentally, having me to say this out for you guys to have ideas on his Generosity. well, without Him though, we wouldnt be so successful right now, i mean at least we have a little achievement. Not reaching for the very high goals, i just mean the very little. great thank yous. wait a minute, what about the culprits? did he purposely plan those? sigh. i'm telling Him, even if i have a really fragile heart at times, my heart wont crumble so easily. i'm gonna set things right! this is exactly what He wants: test our determination, i guess.

today's been great to me. i went out to have some fun with friends and skated out the realisation to having such tremendous fun to heh, getting a life i would say. let alone be the great fun, just enjoy it.

planning what ter do in the holiday...

Get Born

i went to genting highland today. nothing special about it though, just genting highland. but, today means a lot to me.

i received a lot of phone calls today and thanks to those who have wished me. thanks dear. i appreciate it. this is truely comes from the bottom of my heart. birthday, it doesnt have to be a grand celebration. seriously, i used to think that birthday, you have to celebrate it with the blowing-candles-ceremony. this is ridiculous. really riddikullus. sigh.

now that i have grown up, (well not totally grown up), i tend to think that those celebrations are for kids but i dont mean having those kinda celebrations are meaningless or whatsoever, no offense. well, sometimes it is necessary too. sigh. oh, i'm in dilemma man. but, come back to it, it just doesnt have to. i mean, the only thing that's important is that, we know there are someone out there to care and concern about you. that is what that matters most, i believe.

sixteen years before, i was still an unborn child. guess what, i am experiencing my sweet sixteen today!! how time passed!! yet, have no idea whether it will be a sweet one; just have to live through it. i still have a long, long way to go.

anyway, happy birthday to me and those who are actually celebrating their birthdays today. happy birthday. and once again, thanks to those who have wished me.=)

stunned..speechless

her voice. her body. her soul. her looks. her piano. her hair. her band.
everything about her.

went to her first world tour in stadium negara, kuala lumpur. malaysia.
came out on stage with the very striking, Karma, off her latest album.

the song list is endless. still playin in my mind man. still in awe.





queen behind the piano. 



awesome.




alicia keys. the one and only, queen of r&b.