get right

captivated away by the wonderful lyrics that's penned down by the infamous composers out there. they dont know how much difference they're making when they're writing down their thoughts and feelings. i would say their masterpieces are actually making history. i am just so indulged with songs and especially the lyrics. music is really fundamental, be it your up or down times. i just can never live without it in times of ease. even the dueling guitars contribute so much. ah, i can listen to a song over and over again. i bet you too, haha.

currently in the mood of jonathan rhys meyers and secondhand serenade. i know im not much of a fan of the recent Disturbia and the likes, but where have all the good composers gone? no offence. we just want good music and we'll grab a toast. all of the songs that are up to date now are like, normal 'good' songs which you just sing along and forget, nothing really grabs your attention, or perhaps only the rhythm of the song does? ahh, i just dont know how to express myself, people just have different preferences. i guess thats all i could say.

where are you guys?
goo goo dolls, jimmy eat world, breakin benjamin, staind, our lady peace, the calling, kelly clarkson..where, Where's the passion?

leona lewis' a treasure, please dont let her off!!

silence is golden

has my egoism engulfed me yet? i cannot take this any longer, i feel like busting it all up. the feeling is getting stronger and more and more surreal. knowing how lame i am, i wont raise my voice. if its toward my family, i'll have no doubts. i will definitely have them suffer my toad-like screech, yeah hate me. cuz i dont like myself too. but mind you, my family values within me is extremely high. so high that you wont wanna mess with it. lol. dont be afraid, im gentle. lol.
so there, my egoism, erh, NOT egotism, i dont talk about it. people with it should really do a self-actualization. it fears me. sigh, so how? tell me. talk to me. perhaps im better off with silence, until the world crashes down on me. the second thoughts in my head is killing me.. right, i deserve a better treatment than this.

why am i always the one anticipating?

had i known how

on the maternal side, grandpapa is in the hospital while grandmama is falling into depression. i am just right here, in aussie, having the so-called 'time of my life' which i just updated in my facebook but screw it doin nothing to help. wtf. what in the world is wrong? i hate myself for having such a feeling; an uncertain gesture that i projected in front of jet, that im not as worried. please give me a slap straight to my face.

somebody keeps calling on my cellphone but on the screen its shown as 'no caller id' for a fucking 736437468 times. i wonder what disease has been rectified as being contagious again. would you please stop calling, my indecisiveness is killing me, not knowing if i should pick it up or let it ring by itself or put it in vibrate mode, for god's sake! cool, you have stopped calling. damnnit.

i have no idea how to put this in words though i reckon im having a negative feeling now? i just keep so much to myself, so many things i feel like letting it out, but there's always a barricade in the way. something's been filling up my mind, i cant trust nobody. my 'beloved ones' are too occupied for me whereas i have all the time for myself and myself alone.

shit, my phone is crying for me again. should i?
i finally picked up the damn call, there was no response to it. i guess you're rather wtf-ed by it too. okay, i wont let it interfere me. cheers babe. pooh. only the 'LEGENDwait for it.......tedmarshallbarneyrobinlily-DARY' can feed me. =)

off i go.

hope

i never once in my life thought i would feel this way. you give me hope, please dont take it away from me, too soon. when i thought all is well planned, and i would choose to walk this path my way, the way i wanted it to because that, subtly is also due to the fact that i have not much options to make, you're telling me to catch this golden dolphin from the ocean now. this isnt another multiple choices question, for which most of us would assume it's easier as to be compared with the long-demanded answer in the long questions because it is either too easy but tricky or too difficult but indeed an obvious answer right there, if you have done enough revision.

that only happens when you have made good preparation.
but what do i have?

all that i can offer now is devoting my time to the solitary community, make myself a companion to those of need whenever they are wretched or feeling lonely or better off indulging myself in the air by doing something of nothing.

in canberra, there was a time when i could choose to take picture with the words: fear, joy, happiness, passion, hope, mystery... you name it! being as indecisive as i am, my mind started its brain juice flowing doin the math, of which to pick. well, you could possibly be thinkin, why wont i just take the photo with all of the words? though for the record if you only opt for one, you somehow dedicate it as the ticket to somewhere down your deepest core. it is indeed unique.

how i hope something i yearn for this time will happen. when you want something so much, so much that you almost think about it every milisecond of the day, trust me, you'll evetually got left with nothing. i have no idea why, it sucks. but i really want this right now. please. could i?

as it appears on your screen, i chose Eternity. beneath it you see a creepy astounding Fear and i preceded the word Devotion while casual for me then, unfortunate for me now, Hope was captured with an only E.

and i pray that all goes well for you and i.

not just cornflakes.

i fed myself with a whole lot of delicious and really scrumptious good food last night. it was really a cold dark night, oops it does remind me of the dark Knight, but nevermind that lol while walkin out at the street, gosh i was freezing and i swear i was starving, anticipating the dinner to be served hot, not warm, delectable, not just edible. and it turned out, it was yet another pricey dinner that were dished up. a word, awesome. not forgetting the lovely dessert, really mouth-watering and i had 2 slices of cheesecakes. whooops!!!! hehe.

by just thinkin back, makes me wanna eat those food again. i miss the prawns, i miss the salmon the only thing is it wasnt raw, but cooked. haha i have an insane obsession on raw salmon!!! ahh!! and there were even abalone steamed with mushroom-and-sth.. lol. and yeah shark fin soup, not a fan though.. oh well.

NICE!! =)

am very grateful indeed. right, i shall starve myself today.

stitches everywhere

'reckon people do have secrets to themselves. there are just things that we cannot share with anyone at all. you knw, all the dirty little secrets.. all the silly things that you did when you were once immature.. i can get really tensed up sometimes, especially when someone might have done something out of stupidity and i cant make any judgement. this feeling sucks. should you in any way wanting to deal with it, it'll still ultimately remain the same, goin back to square one. damnnit! why won't us, the most perceptive creatures in the universe just grow up and do what's right. well, i dont wanna be in any way philosophical but i do know there's no right or wrong in this cold nasty world, it all just depends on how we look at it. pheww! i just hope there was something i could come up with, to help me help you. all i can say is, things dont always go my way. the most disheartening thing on earth is to accept the truth.

can you feel what i feel?

you certainly dont because if its the otherwise, that'd be a frivolous lie. please dont treat me like a fool, would you hold your breath this time and listen to what i say? its been umpteenth times of me trying to make sense in front of you and im sick of it but i'll still figure out ways just to get you sit down and have a good talk with me. what's more silly is that i cant even handle someone who hasnt gnawed as much chips as i do now. lol not that im old. and i knw you will never ever read this. you'd probably choose to be out. pause. *long sigh*

please excuse this incoherent writing.

this is my name.

came to take this quiz online. check this out, uhm.. what my name says about me!

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you.

You're very intense.You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.

You're highly selective when it comes to dating, and some may say you're too picky.You know what you want, and when you find it, you're ready to commit. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

this is crazy. why dont you give it a try too? it is so accurately true. if you wanna know me, well this is Me. should i or should i not be proud to admit? go figure.

everytime

gotta admit im not a very passionate person. most of the time i dont think rationally. im a lunatic. im outta my mind. i lost my conscience. i did not see what it was the consequence that might occur to me, if, if.. and would you grant me any kinda guidance at all that could mend this heart? it triggers me. alot.

emotional. i am.

hey guys

so what if britney's a pill-popping pop celebrity who used to flash her panties in front of people, it doesnt ever matter our lives, does it? as least she's strutting her own thing, rather not be flaunting her body. im sincerely grateful that she's leaving all that behind and now trying to change. its all coming back to her own senses. i love britney so much that i wish i could give her a fish-kiss on her cheek, or vice versa. lol.

currently unavailable for you, im right now having my big time in australia. anything that goes, there's a price to pay. always. even though im right here, why is it that chris daughtry and panic at the disco have to have concerts at this time, in both july and august. to make things worse, mtv asia awards is gonna be held in Genting Highland, Malaysia this year. why, why, WHY??!! im missing all of these electrifying excitement. and my babes went without me!! why is it so unfair, and goshh leona lewis is gonna make an appearance in MtvAA, or rather, to perform. wait wait, jared leto is gonna be the host!! he's definitely the Kill to all you girls out there, agree?? argh, damn you tucky! i dont care Daidomon is definitely on you! hehe. but please, take lotsa lotsa photos of THEM, wont ya?!! will be thankful for that, but no definitely NOT with your dopod. hehe. no offence. fortunately britney is not attending, lol, all my life i've been desiring to catch her in concerts or whatever appearances that is, BUT i'll still be praying very very casually-nonchalently. yea yea, never ever give up the significance of daring to dream! gee, such a wild hope. *having mandy moore in mind right now when she last hosted in singapore for the same event alongside with the romeo-like ronan keating* i dont remember which year it was though, having westlife as the very grand-closing act singing world of their own. okay, world of OUR own, happy? =)

feel like im only mumbling to myself, but nononono~~ please dont leave my blog yet.

you know im sorta pissed with people around trying to act like someone else in their neighbourhood. if you ever wanna try to make yourself looking hot and stunning like the celebrities, i reallly dont mind at all, but NOT SOMEONE YOU'RE CLOSE WITH!!! like so wth, people have feelings. they can feeel it. even if they dont, other people can SEE it in their eyes. and hello? people DO talk. hehe, maybe they call it as gossiping but MEN, women expertise in that field innately. so bear with it. right, those of you who are involved please take this as a gentle caveat to not provoke others. you dont wanna ruin the platonic relationship, do you? good luck, peeps! alright, im feelin' better now. lol.

avril lavigne is also preparing herself for a concert in malaysia at the end of this month after spending decent moments with hubby deryck whibley. sigh why wont deryck tag along and do a mash up with her. lol what a waste. im goin. im going not. im goin.. im goin not. cuz im not back yet. screw it!

i'd rather you be here.