Well

i miss my blog. although i have not much to release now, i just feel like blogging something here. just wanna write something. i have no idea what to write though. it's weird eh? but i'm sure if i keep typing with my hands, words will come to me. and i guess i'll surely come out with something. who knows, it might be. maybe not. hehe.

i just wanna say that i'm really exhausted. maybe it was because of my yesterday's over-reaction watching tennis. it was a tough match. and i'm glad that marat defeated roger. i'm just hoping to enjoy a hewitt-safin final right now. it's not too much to ask, isnt it?

well, i think those thoughts have come to visit me again. this thing i'm about to write really have been awhile emerging in my brain, mind or whatever you call that. well, sometimes i think having a really whole bunch of friends can be a problem. no offense though i really think so. you might be having a big question mark in your head now. all right, you know sometimes people tend to think that a person actually has a LOT of buddies and that they eventually dont go and look for them you know, talk to them. they dont because they have in mind that you, actually have a lot of friends and you dont need them to come to you. i guess, this is wrong.

let's put it this way, if everybody thinks the same way then the one with 'lotz of friends' will be lonely. do you agree? it's basically because nobody has the urge to go for them. this is sort of unfair to them. i am always a weird one. i like to make friends with people whom the others think that he or she is well, abnormal? i think this has happened since i was still in my primary school. i dont know why. hmm, honestly not really everyone, of course there are still someone that i dont feel like talking to. this is common, isnt it? i'm still a human, i need to express my hatred or refusal at times too. it's impossible that i like everyone in this world. it's not that i'm introvert or anything like that, but friends who know me truely know that i'm a sociable person, dont i? lolz. i'll leave that to you.

by the same token, it's illogic that everyone likes you the way you are. even the very famous and renowned, albert einstein for instance, honestly it cant be that every human beings in this world stand by his side right? does it make any senses to you? this is just my point of view. my intention of writing this is i seriously have no idea, hehe.

all of a sudden, i kind of doubt my own generosity. you know, i'm not saying that i'm very generous in doing charity or the likes, uhmm well, i dont know. sometimes i just have this feeling that i'm not me, am i really that generous and kind to people? im serious now; not being sarcastic at the moment. i really doubt it. i'm lazy. i admit that but most of the time when i'm in front of my dad; whenever he asks me to do fundamentally anything, i tend to drag it. and eventually, he thinks that i'm not being helpful. huh, i have no words to say. my mother, well, sometimes. keke.

i'm felling so moderate right now. you know, having this stand-fan beside me and i am still wearing my pinafore, having my hair down, having the sun still shining glaringly, i dont feel hot at all. you know it's like, you have to answer this emergency nature's call but you dont have to plunge into the toilet to deal with it. now that's the feeling. i'm not very happy and am not unhappy. hehe, i do smile to myself when i'm writing this coz it's kind of ridiculous to me. i dont know what you feel about it. maybe this post is kind of confusing or too long maybe? i dont know, whatever man!

chill.

No Idea

man, this is way too late. or better to say, early. this is unbelievable, never thought that i could actually stay up so late today (well, early? whatever!) because i am so darn tired. but today (still consider as today for me~!) was brilliant. as well as the day before.

i went for two parties consecutively these two days. whoever it is, i did have fun throughout the days. thanks for the fun i had. i took lotsa pictures with my cousins. keke, all went crazee!! jet, if you're reading this, feel the fun dude! we still miss ya! =) anyways, thanks for the cakes which has put me few kgs on, chocolate banana and tiramisu still linger in my mind.

i think i am still crazy despite the fact that this dummy is still awake writing her blog in the wee hours, so insane; as in into it. i was quite touched just now that there was a friend of mine actually rushed me to upgrade my blog. i'm just speechless right now. i wasnt really bothered about it as i was doing my stuff, but the words seemed to be floating in my mind. until now, yeah. so thrilled. perhaps that person was just trying to crack me up, somehow i take it seriously; funny case.

well, i've trim'd my hair today, just slightly shorter and i feel great with my reincarnated look. another alter ego is born without having my mom pregnant for another 9 months or something. this is crap, it's so late at night and i'm still crapping. what kind of person is this? hehe. argh, cant imagine if my mom ever gets pregnant again. oh no!! haha! i think bar-my is the word now. hehe.

gotta dive into my sweet land now. sweet dreams everyone. =)

Hey

what do ya normally expect from a schoolgirl to write? apart from doing homework, still homework. the teachers are great; they manage to mark our exercises just in time and give out exercises again. perhaps, we should appreciate their liberalities. they are hardworking in terms of our homework, we should also appreciate that and try our best. all right, whatever man! ever since the school started, i have been blogging about my school life, which is quite dull sometimes, hope you would bear with me. i have no signs of cracking any fresh jokes or any interesting stuffs. my mind is blinded by my homework, totally. my life is jam-packed. is anybody gonna set me free from this tension?

latterly i am having problems to write essays on account of my inept adroitness. this is saddening. time is like the pilots, dont wait for anyone. i hate the fact. i must work on something as soon as possible before it's too late to get my grade. well, it's never too late right? phew! holy twaddle, rubbish! it is always too late for me to actually realise that something has gone over the line. time, time, time! i am just too inattentive.

uh, having bad hair days. im gonna trim my hair and start anew. and dont be lazy to reach out your hand for vitamins. remember!

Out of the Blue

i was pumping my head doing my add maths exercises. i felt lazy all of a sudden and turned my face to this computer i'm looking at right now. i clicked on my brother's chinese blog and dared myself to explore it this time. i seldom visit his chinese blog but i just feel like browsing it without his presence this time. i never know why. i always have this feeling when i'm at a loss for words to describe my feelings; indescribable feelings that is. perhaps i have lack of vocabulary or in fact, i am. and now, that is so true. the feeling comes back to me again.

i miss you so badly
i still can't forget you
i dont wanna forget you
i hope you can hear me
the day you departed us
was the hardest day for us
things wont be the same again
without your stories and laughters
grandma i miss you suddenly

suddenly i'm sobbing.
suddenly i'm weeping.
suddenly why am i using so many suddenlys.

nothing lasts forever.

Stepping Stone

clumsy.

forget about the equation, i feel that the word mentioned above is the urge. just in case you happen to be experiencing a day in a life like i did today then you are worth to be laughed; although it's not the end of today, i guess what that has destined to occur on me is more than enough to burst you into laughters. talking about laughters, it sounds sort of exaggerated to me all of a sudden. anyway it is somehow related, at least it's coming from the same family in a sense of involving the same exercise for your mouth.

what happened wasnt just by flicking your hair back and when you turnaround, you didnt realise that there's actually somebody standing in front of you and then, you stumbled and fell. well, just assume that you have a long hair here if you dont. all right, guess i should prep my throat and spill it all out. well, first of all i set the alarm wrongly yesterday night and i never realised it until this morning when i actually woke up for another hectic day.

i thought i was getting late and plunged into the bathroom to wash my face, brush my teeth and all. when i came out from it, i was trying to check how much time left for me to have maybe a slower motion; as in i dont have to rush the hell out of it. and then, i know that i really did not have to rush; guess what, it was merely 4.30am in the morning. a very beautiful morning.

an usual thought of a teenager like me would have the will of diving into bed again, but it wasnt for me today. i guess this is all Fate. hehe, actually i did try that out. i didnt happen to sleep and trace back my sweet dreams again ( well, i guess it was, though i cant remember..) was because of the magical water that has kept me awake; i rolled on bed for half an hour only then that i finally moved! by the way, perhaps i should thank the water for keeping me rolling on bed.

anyway, being clumsy could be one of the methods; if you are willing to spend the time i spent on bed rolling to revise your work, then it is! guess it hasnt fated to happen on me so far.

1 Pillow & A Bolster

how long should i make myself to lie on bed each day? cant sleep without my pillow. and my bolster. and my comforter. hehe, whole set of it. sounds really greedy but everybody needs those. those are not luxuries but our needs; some things we require every night. well, whenever we feel like lying on bed to release our drowsiness or dizziness, whatever you call that. oh, i forgot my dog and my minnie mouse. hehe, i bet those are luxuries eh. *blush*

i am planning. 5ive hours? 6ix hours? it's no way gonna be 8ight coz i will be having this sort of feeling which is not capturing every second of my time well. in a minute, everything can change; in that particular minute might have the slight chance to own a footprint in my history.

i am so motivated right now. no confidence equals to no success.


***
be good. stay happy. take care.

Gosh!

this is the longest illness i ever got infected. i really dont have any words to describe my infection, if you ask me. this is too much! i cant talk smoothly now, let alone to sing. gosh, i cant express myself in a condition like that. pls hint me.

these miss you nights are the longest.

i miss my online dayz man! now that i am back to school, things noticeably have to have a change. i cannot online everyday the way i did in last two months. those were the days. this is the first day that i actually get myself connected to this computer contentedly. it's a really tough year to go indeed. i cannot predict my result but i do believe in determination and motivation. ridiculously, my friend just tried to motivate me. what did he say? he said...he said that he was going to buy me something if i really scored straight As. funny funny. despite knowing the aptitude of myself, i guess the chances are like next to none. but god knows! i am gonna endeavor my best anyway. believe in the old saying; strive hard while the iron is hot! lolz, this phrase reminds me of my alma mater's buddies who wrote that for me. thanks anyway.

i must put much effort in it in order to achieve what i want. i maturely understand that. i gotta learn to face all these on my own, now that i am alone. perhaps i am not now, but soon; is one thing i know. if you get what i mean.

give me my voice back!

First Day

first i got diarrhea.
then headache.
stomach disorder.
after that fever.
fell ill, until?

what the...?!! is this some sort of nerve-racking before school reopens? anyway, hope it goes away soon for it is the first day of nerding days.

a dusty-and-filthy-yet-moderate today. all-in and weary.

Hooray!

never will i ever write the year 2004 in my exercise books again; top right i mean. born at the year of dragon, the chinese astrology says that i'll lead a great year. well, what can i say? lilian too doesnt predict it well and accurate all the time, wait a minute, is this about feng shui aGaiN?? they are a lot of readers who are intrigued by her and also, being her faithful fans maybe? i guess this happens to the adults more. she's going way beyond the limit sometimes i think. wearing the so-called auspicious purple blouse and gives us a talk every year? come on, it's just her doing it. what's with the tickets then? go figure.

the above points out like i have a hatred for her, dont i? lolz. apart from saying what i've just mentioned about her, it'll be a holly crap if i do praise her of her impressive sense of humour. trust me, she's good at it. wondering if i would ever be her buff in any time soon, or in the future? hopefully i wont because i know i shant. *eyes rolling* hehe.

okay, it's the first of january of course, let's wake up to another year!! may all the best be with you! you, my readers! thanks for dropping by and stay tuned for more craps~!