your luck

tell me have you ever done something just to please somebody when you dont even feel like it? at first it was really my intention to DO that but then again, she just kept on pestering me saying you're not suitable for this nor that- just get another one instead, and when i happened to have my own definite option afterwards, she's there frickin' mentioning the former is better, what the heck man!! well, i bet you dont even get a point here of me complaining about somebody, but i just have to do this despite keeping her pseudo. it's a She. hell yeah. the thing is, when it comes to thought, guys dont usually get in my nerves, right, this can be applied either they please me all the time or i dont even frickin' care about their motions and notions.

i have just gone through a self-actualization. that got me thinking if i should carry on what im doing right now, cuz i dont at all like the way i am at this moment. or am i speculating too much? why is everyone seemed to be enjoying their lives without boundaries? when on the other hand my way is always blocked by the red-yellowed-whateva-striped barricades. or am i thinking much again. i dont know, i only expect much more to happen and i really wanna enjoy my youth, simply because we only go through once? why dont we just slip off the head; do whatever we like? or perhaps that only happens to the much appreciated or the fortunate ones. yes, i should be so lucky. and all the shit. but people do compare; no matter how high a mountain, it can never lasts forever. again you think it is ludicrous or rather illogical when Degarmo sang she's climbed up all the mountain at the age of 17. ouch! how would you know of a person's maturity or is it just a scratch of a nimble wit in reality? heck knows.

1-3591-349. i must make it through this time. conquer myself, control myself. keep it real, carm! just do it!! to YOU, save your mocking, she wants to roar! you will be sorry.