Goodbye 2004!

blink blink!! it's nearly the end of the year. 22 hours to go i guess. what a hectic year i had. this is just so fast. one word, unbelievable! wondering how the year 2005 would be. could it be an apprehensive year? no doubt, it is! well, to me at least. sigh. guess i will be a total nerd next year, uh huh later!! i'm really anxious bout it. cant wait? perhaps.

by the way, when i flipped through The Star newspaper today, i came across a headline that caught my eye. it was this lady, Grace Chow who had passed away on the 5th of december i guess. hey guys please do check that out here. this is really touching, i nearly cried. another cold dark year, i can still remember my grandma died last year and i thought it was the unluckiest year, really. yet it seemed and proved to me that it was so obviously not. undeniably, tsunami wave swept lives away. heartbreaking and depressing.

all right, forget bout all the unhappiness. we cant always stay in the past and having the negative views. let's get positive people!!

welcome 2005!!

Not Myself

there's something that i feel but i cant tell what on earth that is. riding round and round in this melancholy, i feel so down. when i bring myself into this, i'm really feeling it. oh my, this is so absurd, so out of place. at the same time, i keep listening to billy gilman's hits. i'm falling in love with his voice man. i'm still riding, in the middle of nowhere.

tsunami victims, RIP.

Time to Chill

guess i've been playing gunbound all these while. friends were really introducing that game to me, but i didnt really get myself hook on it, coz i never tried. now that i've tried, no idea what it calls.. is this considered as a good thing?

i've already had the answer in my mind; if i do manage my time well then, it is and vice versa. next year is, beyond doubt a big year to me and a really tough year indeed. i have no idea if i can cope it well. the only thing i can do is just try.

ridiculously i tell myself every single year that i am gonna study hard and smart in the forthcoming year. it didnt really work out that way. why? sloth. i'm trying to tell ya that i'm gonna say that to myself again subtlely. lolz.

wish i could save myself from the well blocked up with lethargy. sigh. bored now. time to chill? not again, dont feel like doing anything. so how?

Do They Know it's Christmas?

It's Christmastime, there's no need to be afraid
At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime
But say a prayer, pray for the other ones
At Christmastime it's hard, but when you're having fun

There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing
Is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom

Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you
And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Here's to you
Raise a glass for everyone
Spare a thought this yuletide for the deprived
If the table was turned would you survive

Here's to them
Underneath that burning sun
You aint gotta feel guilt just selfless
Give a little help to the helpless

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Feed the world
Feed the world
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime again

by Band Aid 20

Research All the Way

life is simple. i can do it.

well, woke up in the morning today and the first thing that came into my mind is that little voice was asking me to buy next year's textbooks and exercise books. where's it? yea, my school. who was the little voice in my head eh? hmm, weirdo. this is unbelievable, time is consuming and i finally realised that i have a lot of virgin exercises piling up high. it seems to me that i can hardly finish everything off. but, i have to.

went straight to school for the books and of course, i had to buy for my younger brother as well. whoa! my brother's books are more expensive than mine!! kewl. later after everything's done, we just headed for lunch and got back home, both in one piece.

sigh. once i stepped into my room, i just had this sort of weird feeling that i have to do research. what?!! research again?? let's face it. i did do it. i do research until now. i manage to finish one out of five. my head is so dizzy over the information that i got. i am so slack right now. i dont want to do anything. i just want to have fun right now. afterall, i am flooded by my procrastination. well what can i say, that's me. phew, have to pick up the phone now.

by the way, 3 days to crimbo.

Excited

today was fun.

my ex-classmates and i went to mid valley today. hmm, there were 9 of us altogether. what an outing. it was like a total different feeling that 2 of us actually transferred and already have adapted into new environment. that's not it that matters but come to think of it, our relationships are just as close as we were. not to mention i did have a slight disappointment, just forget it though. this is the first time that i ever get to have lunch and dinner with friends. yeah, first time ever! this feels great even if i did was in a rush that i was gobbling down my piece of pizza, so greedily. yeah, you might think this is a total crap but i was having a great time. who cares? however, not to suppose me of getting home late. i got back real early. it was only 8. i could still manage to get home right in time for soup. yippie!

feeling a sense of reading a shaggy dog story eh? *lolz* hehe. no, it isnt. this is just as actual as the Newly-weds reality show you watch on television. the one with jessica and nick in it. well, this doesnt mean that i'm into them; not even one of them. no offense. i prefer ashlee! all right, i should stop writing on this topic. coz it will never end whenever i got myself having a self-styled discussion which is related to entertainment. hmm, now that i'm wondering if i ever get myself involved in debates that's connected with entertainment, will i ever win? *lolz*

i spent a lot today. spent a lot on gifts. spent a lot on food. spent a lot on bowling. you name it. anyhow and whatever it is, it's worth it. actually, this is a way of consoling myself i guess. money is spent, what to do?

someone's blushing. thanks for that couple of boxes, hehe. well, my belated birthday gifts. let's put it this way though; take it as extremely early gifts for next year's. =)

Guilty

this is my personal blog, i guess i have to be pretty-honestly frank when i'm writing this. i should and i have to and i ought to and i did and i do, for real. yes, everything that i put much effort on, i am seriously doing it passionately. no kidding. all right, up to the main post. my blog, it understands me and knows me well. knows me better than anyone else in the world. not even myself, well, i'm just uncertain bout it. phew. i should make this a more straightforward way but i cant do it. everybody will be reading this and one who reads this will know how terribly mean i am and how... civilised i am i guess.

rejection that smash straight to your face is really embarrasing but is it really that hurtful? i guess i know but i have no idea bout it. again, i did it. i didnt mean to when it's not my startout point in the first place. this really is not what i intended to do. i seriously feel the guilt now. i totally have lost my mind. i never know why i feel the guilt this time around. perhaps i know and pretending not to know; loyalty.

help me, i believe in something called Karma. guys, what goes around comes around; whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of earth. i'm afraid this will ever happen to me in the future; the future that no one can ever predict.

i'm so sorry, you'll find someone better.
tight spot. hear me moan.

Pastime

my little brother leaves this house again; he's going out to play badminton with his friends. badminton, football, ping pong, and lotz more... those are not my leisure pursuits, it's his, my cute little brother.

should you ask for mine, i will never know how to answer you. just leave it to yourself; to find it out yourself. only if you really wanna know. but there's one, even if you do not wanna know i'm gonna share it with you. (seems like i'm forcing you to know huh! *lolz*) i have never noticed that i have this favourite pastime, at least not until today that i actually got to realise it. guess what, i like to read story books. i just cant believe that this actually has become my hobby once i left my previous high school. it could most probably be that life there was totally hectic and stressful and i didnt even have my own life. my textbooks gravely hogged my time. that's so terrifying and killing.

hippie, i just finished Life of Pi. it's an uplifting story. it requires intellectual thinkings i guess, you know it's instilled with religions which i'm so not clear about. my brain stops responding, truely oblivious to anything that happens around me whenever i put my hands on that book. i enjoyed reading that book, yeah!

starting another one later, Vernon God Little; my favourite book!! wondering why the book has already become my favourite even i havent already started reading yet? *lolz* actually i've scanned through a few pages earlier before i get the book. =)


14 days to christmas.

Given chances

it's good to see people of my age who can actually compose their own song and perform it. how i wish i could be one.

a friend of mine sent me a track that he and his friends composed themselves yesterday. i tried listen to it; although it wasnt a clear track but i can feel their determination working hard on it and it wasnt that bad actually. it's a nice song yeah. ridiculously, that song even woke my brother up. *lolz* the title of the song is nothing lasts forever. well, good try!! i tried listening to the lyrics of that song but let's just blame the mp3 player. sigh. *sniff*

i did write out some lyrics years back but i have thrown it all away. never know the reasons why i did that, it was indeed right from my heart but i just feel that those were you know, some kind of immature thoughts. only a few close friends got to share those craps, not even my family members. it's not that i dont share with them but you know, you have your inside worlds in different aspects. you have your inner thoughts for sure. not anyone in this world can share all of the secrets with you. for instance, certain people you'll tell them certain secrets but just not all of them. human beings are born like that i reckon, dont ask me why. there are always some secrets that we keep from other people, even it's the someone you share everything with, it's just that natural.

in recent times, i'm self-learning the guitar. things didnt work out the way i expected. i will not lift up the white flag though. not as soon. i must never give up on doing anything else. work it!! i can do it!! i need some kind of self-actualization i guess. can anybody please tell me that. playing guitar, yes or no?

so natural. blur.

A Gap?

it was a great pleasure to have met an ex-primary classmate yesterday when i was shopping for christmas gifts. if i'm not mistaken, guess it was at the British India outlet. i was particularly astounded, really, when i saw tht familiar face.

'hazel, how bout this?'

this looks-familiar-to-me girl was replying her aunt while i was beating faster subconsciously. i dared myself to lift my guts up though.

'hazel?'

her eyes told me that she was stunned.

'..carmen..?!!', i tried to jog her memory.

'ohh..hey!! carmen!!! how are you now??', she stroke me with that hey. this hey here indicates the surprised-hey, instead of the widespread-hey. it wasnt nice of me to be standing there with speechless-yet-slightly-opened lips, waiting for her to bum in another question.

we nodded at each other. tick-tocks away, we exchanged emails for our future use and left the cold air at the same place.

imagine, it has been 4 years of not-meeting and no gatherings that i have ever been to, so to speak, how could there be any conscious minds to start off any gap-less conversation. just a conclusion: we are both not the kind of person who can actually bridge the gap without stinting.

Another Day

after a sleepless night, i seriously am not sleepy. ask me why? no idea.

having holiday is so much fun although it's so boring at home. hey, at least i can have lunch with family. let alone family members are cool enough, it doesnt have to be bombastic-cum-expensive dishes. heh, having lunch with family is so much cooler than dinner man. not to mention breakfast; sometimes or should i say most of the time, once i wake up, it's already noon. my brothers? ditto. *laugh out loud* aiks, i, myself also havent any clue why having lunch is better. you tell me.

im so bored right now. no intentions to do my homework because i know earlier that my homework is never will be done. poor gurl. show me the way please. peace.

Fingertips on Air

apparently, i posted an invisible post. god didnt agree with my decision of posting it to be read by anyone. furthermore, i now dont have the urge to rewrite the same old thing that i wrote just now. again, my then feeling has changed after a relaxing shower. phew. therefore, i'll just let it be. perhaps, this is the will of god. or perhaps, he didnt want those words to be known by anyone; just dont let it be heard or seen. whatever.

i learnt a lesson though; not to fuss over things that dont seem to turn out the way we expected it to be. i was quite irritated when i saw the error that occurred on this flat screen minutes ago or should i say hours? and before you know it, i was already not in the mood of talking and everything.

before my emotion comes back and traces me, i ought to forbid my fingertips for being so agile right on top of these randomed-alphabets, roman numbers, and all to practice its speed any longer. i was walking alone on the boulevard of broken dreams. and depressed for real. inspired by the green day, thanks.

what am i typing? what am i crapping? what am i to do? where should i go? have i ever gone right? or havent i? what do i know? i dont know...

crappy lame post.

Believe

"Where?"

"Why, to the North Pole, of course. This is the Polar Express!"


a robert zemeckis film. believe. a masterpiece. 

"It doesn't matter where the train is going. What matters is deciding to get on."

seeing is believing. believe, it lies in our heart sooner even before you genuinely realise and touch it. you gotta decide it, yourself.

Staying Alive & Peace

i'm glad
when i'm waiting
tons of thoughts rush into my mind
it's so unpredictable
even when i'm walking with the time
it's ticking my senses away

i'm numb
at the very moment
holding my story book
with my fingers
hesitant in my mind
playing my thoughts again

still waiting
for the one to pick me up
every cars that passes by
keeps my nervous system
going insane and crazy

i'm confused
not knowing what's the purpose
somebody please tell me
the answer
for the zero i asked

carry on waiting
and still
waiting the time of your life
for the days will come
in the long run

then again
it's unpredictable
and so erratic

i'm perspiring
the unknown cells
tell it to my mind
think positively
it says

if you think you're one of the lucky ones
always bear it in your mind
if you're assuming
you're the unfortunate ones
you're wrong
there are way too many queueing
behind you
you wont notice it
by just turning around

think spiritually
it's just a matter of time

i'm broken
am like the fish
behind the glass
it's mine
me alone

i did i did
the tweety bird once cheered me
i think i saw a no one
she shrieked again

i swim again
behind the glass

yes alone
it's so sad
no one can hear me
in the murky water

they say
the world outside
has a deeper sea
can i swim
can i handle the pressure
it's hard to walk this path alone

dont you catch the idea now
we are one
in a world filled with colours
the story goes on


it's the world aids day. stay alive!
hold on to your voice behind you and think twice. you wont get infected by just a mere touch. be good to everyone else; especially them. you know who i'm referring to.

a friend of mine is celebrating birthday today. what a crash with the world aids day. no offense, dude. i might not be the first to wish you, but here's my sincerity. happy birthday, ant. would you like to request that song? =)

'you wont be infected by smiling and hugging them.'- sean p.diddy comb.

peace.

Contennial District Interact Conference 2004

i'm dead worn out! exhausted man!! no idea what makes me feel so, the trip was meant to be those kind of useful-thingy (tips) for our future. should i state the first day's programme down here and you tell me your views.

day 1
1400-1415 : interactors to be seated in the hall
1415-1425 : arrival of invited guests & rotarians
1430 : arrival of guest of honour district governor, dato' ir a.p. perumal
1435 : raising of flags
1440 : singing of national anthem
1450 : roll call of interact clubs
1500 : welcome speeches & key note address by the guest of honour
1600 : tea break
1615 : a talk on 'rotarians examples to youth by pp charlie chan
1700 : a talk on 'what's next after interact club' by pp zaini mufti
1745 : briefing on team building
1845-1945 : dinner
2000-2230 : performance by interact clubs & social activities
2245 : light supper
2300 : good night

so that was the first day. you can see that it's really healthy, needless to mention the consequtive days. i kind of appreciate it because it has changed my views of seeing things. i will not state it here but you may find it out yourself. i have no idea whether my friends have changed any but i can tell ya, i do. this is definitely for real. friends? i did meet a few of them. they were cool. they accompanied me when i was searching everywhere for a companion. by the way, it was still imperfect as i still had my lonely times. sigh. 'who doesnt?', you'd say, hehe.

guess next year i'm not going. the reason? no no, this conference worths it. the reason is just as simple as the h-u-g-e examinations i'm going to sit for. just as i think about it, i released a sigh of relief because i went to the conference. no regrets. big thank yous for my friends who enthusiastically wasted saliva on me. pardon? did i say the word 'wasted'? oh noo...
it was meant to be a joke, ignore it.

photos are attached hereby. enjoy!


i love it here, the serenity. 


rotary club of pudu.  


interact club of my school. cheers guys. 

'i dont know what your destiny will be, but one thing i know, the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who sought and found how to serve.' -Albert Schweitzer

Service Above Self. Create A Better Tomorrow.

Youthy Trip

for some reasons, i couldnt get connected for few days. now that i'm back, i have to leave for a trip to shah alam for three days. therefore, i must capture this opportunity to blog. else, i would have left my blog deserted for another few days. i just cant let myself to treat my alter ego like this.

wondering how the trip will be like... i'm just curious about it, but it doesnt really distract my activities or motions. kinda weird huh? it cracks my head; not the trip but this odd feeling. this looks so seemingly familiar to me when it's not in reality. how could this be?

for your information, it's held by the interact club. yeah, i've finally made up my mind. i'm going. i'm taking off tomorrow. be good, i'll be back. hehe, you're definitely allowed to miss me when i'm not here. muaks!

Perfect

Practice makes perfect.

what a simple one which a lot of people come across and are always telling the younger ones or their friends about it. i mean, everyone is telling one another just to get something done.

everyone has their own limitations. we cannot force ourselves to do something we do not want to do and out of the league. we need to stand on the ground, firmly. we must not get carried away. the first and foremost, just do our very best. for everything. examine our goals and strive through it.

human beings tend to get jealous or envious about their partners or friends easily. stop thinking whoever around you that's having this problem, it might be you. yeah, you! do you ever notice why they can get such great achievements? no, it's not that they're born with gifted talent or divine, but their perspiration. the only difference is that they've already realised their goals and started to perspire indefatigably earlier than we do. have you?

i dont mean to struggle to break out of the limits, it's not the way it should be though. just try our best. everything has its limits, keep that in mind pals. allow me to voice my heart out. practice makes perfect? come to think of it, nobody is perfect in this world but on the other hand, we are told 'practice makes perfect'. what, is it a quandary? here the same saying goes again, this is life. we have to get on with life and life goes on. and so on.

i'm sorry i cant be perfect...

Tiramisu

can you believe this?? haha, colleen celebrated my birthday just now with my friends!! a really belated birthday!! exactly a month, even later than that! i really appreciate it!!! it was so much fun spending time eating the voracious, lip-smacking tiramisu!! wow, it was soo cool!!

this is all planned! god has given me another big surprise this time around. i woke up late today; overslept. keke, when i finally fought my way there, colleen told me that there would be a debate later on, it was so startling!! i had nothing filled in my mind, except the schedule of visiting the hell and forecasting what to do next, coz i was most probably not familiar with the hell-thingy, hehe. put aside the debates, i did took part before. hey, at least not today!! what a rush when i had already overslept and greeted everyone wrongly in the morning!!

my oh my, tiramisu, i even licked the rich cream, with my tongue of course, haha.. the 'birthday girl'!! hmm, planning to go out again for movies haha!! =) what a wonderful morning, words cant really describe my feelings right now. i'm just beggaring description over this!!

it's really made my day!! hope everything goes right later on. muakss!!

Tiramisu, Tiramisu, tiramisu... awww!
zillions of thank yous to Secret Recipe for coming out with such incredible recipe!! there're still some left in the fridge, gonna eat it now!! so long, farewell and ciao!!! *laugh out loud*

Family Chill

i met him finally!! he has put on weight, hehe!! he told me that he's gonna keep fit, how funny he was!! then i was like, 'Nooo!!'. anyway, you cant expect your grandpa to keep fit right? moreover, he's still considered as one of the skinny ones even though he's put on weight. he's not big-boned!! =)

this family reunion was actually for my beloved grandma who left us peacefully last year. she was fighting against the liver cancer ad something like that. i dont wanna elaborate more on that coz i will really get emotional. all right, so that was her first anniversary according to the Chinese calender. everyone who's part of the family came yesterday but let's omit the absence of one of my uncles being abroad in russia for his business. we definitely understand that.

when it reached its climax of the day, my o'lil cousin sista wanted to take her nap! so, me being her lovely cousin sista, created a so-called Carmen's Lullaby for her. you might know what it was, go figure! *wink*

Later after that, they came up with a suggestion; to catch a movie. Shark Tale i guess. it'd be fun to go with them, but the thing was i had already seen the movie. furthermore, i had to get on shift later that day. i really wanted to go with them, but sigh...

so that was the end.

Numb

havent been blogging for days, i miss it so much. ever since i started my part-time job, i feel like my days are jam-packed. it just feels so. it's really tiring although i dont have much to do. wake up in the morning, go to school in search for some roars which is a total joke, come back home for slightly a rest then get off to work; this is my circle of each day. except for the days i skip school. these days wont be long though, the holiday is just around the corner. 4 more days to go, i think.

there will be a family reunion this sunday at my grandpa's place, cant wait to meet all of them especially my grandpa; wondering how he has changed since the last time i met him. i've been waiting for that day to come so desperately. in addition, i missed out a lot of opportunities to visit him despite my hectic days and the time didnt match. what a world i live in! or should i say a coincidence? there are never gonna be barricades in front blocking my way there this time man!

talking about reunion, it brings me into another confusion. i have been frowning for days (yes, days!) to decide whether or not going to a conference held by the interact club. i am indeed an interactor, for that matter. and now, another big question mark's in my head!! a primary 6 reunion that is. i havent made up my mind just yet. the excuse for not going would be my job. yet, here it rows again, my mind. please show me the ray of light, to go or not to go?

i am made numb by the decisions i have to make and sorry for bugging you. you know who you are. so sorry and thank you by the way.

***
chill out corner: Bush won! what a lame joke!
it doesnt affect me much though, i mean why should i?

-End-

one word.
exhausted.

no more october rains, my lovely october.
and hello november!

Dainty Havoc

just cant make up my mind. according to the horoscope, a libran can hardly make his/her decision easily. it contributes a lot of scratching the hell out of your head. this is sooo ... me.

i've always found myself in dilemmas. whenever i want to do something, i just cant do it readily. it's either the other side of my brain asking me not to do or just do it! it's times like these when i got stranded.when i ask for others' opinions, they'll just ask me to think about it and figure it out by myself. what's the point of it? i mean, if i know what to do then why will i waste my saliva and ask something that i have already had my final answer? you close the door behind you and do you ever turnaround when you're in a rush? probably no. does it all even make sense to you then?

my emotions are always ruined by the unexpected occurrences. i believe everybody feels the same too. a typical malaysian will just keep everything on the low and go with the flow. what's with the others then? we have the clue.

i'm in a predicament of trying to decide whether or not to take the part-time job.

Wrong Decision

oh man, i shouldnt have gone to school today!! i am still regretting right now. grr- i was sooo boring sitting in the classroom doing nothing because the teachers arent teaching due to the numbers of students who are absent today. well, even if the whole class are present, the teachers wont be teaching as well. sigh.

how could that be, the first double period were pjk lesson and didnt know what could possibly caused me of being such lazee that i just didnt feel like streching my body today. how sad. i know earlier that it would be a total boredom. you know, teachers are not teaching anymore so what's the purpose of going to school? it cant be that going to school to communicate with others right? other schools are already having their school holiday break, just not my school. it's unfair.

go to school is not a problem, but please give us something to do. i mean, not same old exercises, how bout a quiz? i know it's too much to ask from this school. hey, this is not anything regarding to prejudice, this school's teachers will never have quizzes with us. i'm wondering what they expect us to do in the classroom. apart from self-studying i mean.

err, i feel that i'm a fastidious person all of a sudden. *blush* think i need to do explanation, as i am totally not that kinda person, hehe! sure you guys know me well. but talking about characteristic, i do admit that i can be really indecisive at times. well, i think i'm afraid of making the wrong choice or decision. look, what have i done? what a minor mistake this time around. =)

Malay Torture

especially when it's malay period, i feel the pressure most. the teacher kinda overestimate us, ya know. sometimes we just cant satisfy her, her mood is like the weather; sometimes she's fun to be with, sometimes oh, better not mention. and you know what i actually mean by that i guess. hilariously, she can walk really fast, just like the way when we used to involve ourselves into longrun competition, heh, i challenged her today. it was funny, she cracked me up in the early morning when i was on my way to meet my form teacher to inform her bout our class' attendance. she actually made my day by saying 'look, you much younger and you can walk faster than me, obviously!' then i was like,'heh, thank you and let's challenge again until we meet again!'. 'okay', she laughed. this feels great when you're either making jokes with the teacher or have some time off with them. well, it actually depends on the way the teacher responds. i had a 4-period of malay consequtively!! man, that was quite boring. the teacher was just teaching us the konserto terakhir, only! even though the novel is interesting, as i've admitted before, the teacher shouldnt do that to us when it's obviously next year's syllabus. ridiculously, she's more nervous than us, who are supposed to sit for the SPM next year. she makes me feel like time really flies and it's like, tomorrow is exactly my honour to sit for the SPM!! admire her man.

Runaway

apparently, i had an enormous day with yee yi but now that everything just doesnt go my way, i feel depressed. i know, i shouldnt feel this way but it's just out of my control. [i wanna yell out loud, but i cant. i wanna do it, but i dont have the ability. i wanna gain experiences, but i'm not allowed to.] ...by now.

this is just somewhere only i know, the spot where i stand, no one can give me the precise answer. perhaps, things will go my way. hello, is there anyone out there to mend this fragile heart?

let's runaway.



no, i cant!

Unbelievable

as usual, i had to go back to school and had my lessons!! eww man, i was quite mad actually. it was my add maths lesson, my teacher didnt teach us anything as he claimed that next year's syllabus will be really tough and it will be impossible to just teach us this year; when everyone's losing their mood and craving for the yummy holiday, without a textbook, that's fine though! my teacher was talking crap in the first place with the guys sitting in front; guess he was too bored at the moment, then i took out my malay novel, konserto terakhir, and started to flash it all as soon as possible, for your information, it was really an interesting story and yeah, it's about romance!! well, it's considered a good one as to compare to other malay novels. frankly, i didnt read the previous novels, i mean malay novels here. those were all about wars!! eew!! and sigh. back to it, when i found myself started to yawn, *blush* (as i didnt get enough sleep the previous day) then i dived into my dreamland. of course with my teacher's presence and i bet he knew it! when i was sleeping in the middle of nowhere, i heard a tip-tapping on the windows with a cane, *roll my eyes* beside me and i was awoke by it. once i woke up, i found my 'meticulous' principal standing outside scolding me, i was frightened! not being exaggerated, i have never been scolded by any principals, i was shocked for sure and didnt dare to turn my face at all. i just stared at my drawer and listened, well yeah, pretended to be!! then she came into my classroom and walked around to shoot people; keke, one of my classmates was soo unfortunate that he was dragged downstairs to do some useless thingy. i was no doubt, relieved. i was so embarrassed! but my friends told, a lot of students have been a victim before and it's totally ridiculous that we can never sleep in the classroom, even when the teachers arent teaching and the time when we've finished our exam papers!! it turned out that there's a rule written that once we've finished our exams, we are not supposed to be sleeping but to check the answers all over again and again! this is totally out of the mind!! i cant help myself from sleeping man! anyway, this is a real joke to me!

then it went off to account lesson, which i always find it a boring lesson, surprisingly, today went on quite well. i kinda enjoyed the lesson, wondering why now.

nothing much to talk bout my account lesson and here goes my malay lesson, i didnt like it very much but it's always a pressure to attend this teacher's lesson, she pushed us so hardly man, and is always picking one of us, students to answer her terrifying questions. i managed to cope with that though, of course, whenever i face difficulties in answering, there are always friends there to help me out, appreciate it man! well, this teacher is qualified as a dedicated teacher, really. i am considered the lucky ones to be under her actually. so, thank God, that's all i can say. after that, everything went on quite well.

when it comes to my tuition, there were six of us who were actually intended to take lifts by two taxi drivers but it turned out to be really unbelievable!! guess what, the six of us actually sit in the one cab and headed to our spot, be more precisely, the seven of us!! you figure it out, an easy one! that was really incredible!!! i believe this incident will be footprinted into my memory!! this is utter absurd; dont know why, i just have this unsolved feelings.

woah!! cant believe i'm writing this now, it's already the next day!! funny, i'm gonna dive into my dreamland again!! hehe, this time will never get interrupted or anything!! or perhaps something, then it will be the ghosts and the likes!!! ewww, look out, my goosebumps!! *laugh*

mottos

came across a forwarded message via email and discovered these. i'm gonna live with these from now on! thanks, dear.

activity gets you busy, productivity gets you results; activity consumes time, productivity frees it.

stop analysing life. just lives it. analysis is what makes it complicated. your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. you are worrying because you are analysing. worrying has become your habit. that's why you are not happy.

uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional. pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

diamond cannot be polished without friction. gold cannot be purified without fire. good people go through trials, but don't suffer. with that experience, their life become better, not bitter.

problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength. inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

if you look outside you will not know where you are heading. look inside. looking outside, you dream. looking inside, you awaken. eyes provide sight. heart provides insight.

success is a measure as decided by others. satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. you work with the compass. let others work with the clock.

always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

when we suffer we ask, "why me?" When we prosper, we never ask "Why me?". everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. create it. life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation.

face your past without regret. handle your present with confidence. prepare for the future without fear. keep the faith and drop the fear. don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve.

life is wonderful if you know how to live.

TV shows

i've always liked the Oprah Winfrey show and i watched it just now. it featured Greg Behrendt on this episode, one who writes for HBO's Sex and the City. he talks about his he's just not that into you; promoting his book i reckon. heh, obviously. i enjoyed watching the whole show with this comedian's jokes and yet comes with serious statements which are quite realistic.

not only did i learn from the Oprah Winfrey Show this time, there were a lot of reviews in the past episodes which taught me ways to handle things calmly without fears. it sometimes even requests tears from me and guess what, it used to be one of the materials for me to write something about death in my essay. =)

alright, i'm liking the Wade Robson Project as well, this season's winner, Tyler Banks really did his thing. i'm glad he won in the long run. i was so nervous sitting in front of the tv when Wade announced the winner of this season. guess they're scheduling another season, cant wait man!!

TV shows, i like it all. they're my companion when i'm alone; the time when this computer is monopolised by somebody, hehe. no offense, dear. what i really mean is, the existence of television really rocks a lot of loners' world!

Foodie

I am Gourmet Girl Click on the picture below to read more: Take the 'What Kind of Girl Are You?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

Evening Post

goodbye to the rainy day.

with my current mode, i like the weather now better. i've always liked the rainy days, not these days in the evening though, especially when i'm feeling glum.

as i came back from a friend's church, i walked a short distance in the rain alone just now. it was just a mere drops of tears from the sky on me, but when it started to cry unstoppably heavy, i found a shelter and called my mom there to bring me home. thanks for the help of God, for sending such a kind-hearted worker there to lend me a hand. i lurve my home, it's the best place which i can let my hair down and feel so beautiful.

perhaps, life is really beautiful. we just gotta see it and feel it.

Suffocate A Devil

human are born to learn and experience things in life. the world is inexhaustible; it wont stop moving and will be moving any moment.

we should really understand what we want and do it in advance; not to plan though, you're just making an excuse out of yourself. i have been doing a lot of things and yeah, experienced a lot; either on my own or with somebody's help, but right now i have no idea the purpose of doing so. i was just swinging the pendulum for every seconds to flow; nowhere to go.

people put efforts on doing something but got the feetbacks that's just simply letting you down and wretched. i'm totally depressed and sick of all these things. look up and you could see the flat out ceiling on top of you, feel it. do you think life goes fairly reasonable? without hesitation, sometimes it does. but, what happen to the other times then?

it's bad enough when people's already feeling disappointed and you dont even try to console, why do they still, insist of wanting to increase the frustration of them then? what is the point of it? dont you think it doesnt make sense at all?

be fair to everyone around you, and be good. then, you will be loved.

A lipid - cool

You are a lipid. You know whom you like and whom
you hate, and you like hanging out with people
who think like you do. People who disagree with
you annoy you to no end. You either love
Abercrombie and Fitch or you despise it, but
there's no middle ground. You're polar.


Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Move On

sometimes i just wonder why...
people involve in relationships will draw themselves so deeply into it and when it comes to breaking-up, they just cant move on eventually. aint it over?

teenagers who allow themselves to step into this kinda world at the very young age should be aware of it. as we know, it's just what we've been saying; the puppy love. we havent a clue on the inconceivable future. our minds dont function to that case though genius you could be. why dont they just move on and be happy? i'm not against to starting a relationships but we should love ourselves before we love someone, am i right? in foreign countries, they seem to start these even earlier, do they know what's the point of it, for that matter.

relationships can be really pampering at times. yet, we should know how to avoid the circumstances, like a fight, maybe? in conclusion, just let it all flow by itself, things will eventually turn out to be all right. there's nothing to worry about. crying over spilt milk is no use a battle. com'on dear, just walk out the impossible and move on easily. cheers. and please bear in mind to treasure what we have right now, we might lose one of them the next moment, who knows?

love and peace.

Idols

she definitely deserves this.

sophisticated. stunning. awesome. elegance. remarkable.
first ever malaysian idol, Jacklyn Victor.

i am embarrassed to say, the finale was the only show i watched.
and it was spectacular. it was a total unbelievable.
congrats, jac who brought us a great yet-to-be-released single, gemilang.

kelly clarkson and clay aiken are my idols, no doubt.
well, no comments on the other idols.

A Rush of Fun To The Head

everything's over. this feels awesome!! what a word, brilliant! Cool, life's never been better, i mean the fake plastic nightmare had gone. i know, it's gone for only a really limited period, but at least i can try to do something i've always wanted to do in this upcoming relaxing days. well, not so relaxing actually, God will never let us feel the great refreshing day. He'll at least let the troubles find you or the other way round: we find troubles. For instance, He'll guide us to the wrong conversation, or coincidentally, having me to say this out for you guys to have ideas on his Generosity. well, without Him though, we wouldnt be so successful right now, i mean at least we have a little achievement. Not reaching for the very high goals, i just mean the very little. great thank yous. wait a minute, what about the culprits? did he purposely plan those? sigh. i'm telling Him, even if i have a really fragile heart at times, my heart wont crumble so easily. i'm gonna set things right! this is exactly what He wants: test our determination, i guess.

today's been great to me. i went out to have some fun with friends and skated out the realisation to having such tremendous fun to heh, getting a life i would say. let alone be the great fun, just enjoy it.

planning what ter do in the holiday...

Get Born

i went to genting highland today. nothing special about it though, just genting highland. but, today means a lot to me.

i received a lot of phone calls today and thanks to those who have wished me. thanks dear. i appreciate it. this is truely comes from the bottom of my heart. birthday, it doesnt have to be a grand celebration. seriously, i used to think that birthday, you have to celebrate it with the blowing-candles-ceremony. this is ridiculous. really riddikullus. sigh.

now that i have grown up, (well not totally grown up), i tend to think that those celebrations are for kids but i dont mean having those kinda celebrations are meaningless or whatsoever, no offense. well, sometimes it is necessary too. sigh. oh, i'm in dilemma man. but, come back to it, it just doesnt have to. i mean, the only thing that's important is that, we know there are someone out there to care and concern about you. that is what that matters most, i believe.

sixteen years before, i was still an unborn child. guess what, i am experiencing my sweet sixteen today!! how time passed!! yet, have no idea whether it will be a sweet one; just have to live through it. i still have a long, long way to go.

anyway, happy birthday to me and those who are actually celebrating their birthdays today. happy birthday. and once again, thanks to those who have wished me.=)

stunned..speechless

her voice. her body. her soul. her looks. her piano. her hair. her band.
everything about her.

went to her first world tour in stadium negara, kuala lumpur. malaysia.
came out on stage with the very striking, Karma, off her latest album.

the song list is endless. still playin in my mind man. still in awe.





queen behind the piano. 



awesome.




alicia keys. the one and only, queen of r&b.

Rain. Oh, A Rain To Remember!

It rained cats and dogs just now; really heavy. I didnt know how to go back, now that I'm here, hints that I am home right now, safely. Thank God. I was running in the rain and I had never thought it turned out to be that great. I havent been running or rushing in the rain for quite some time; it's been years, I reckon. Accompanied by a friend; someone I had never in my life thought that I would run in the rain with, I had this exuberant feeling that I wanted to play in the rain just now. I know it was impossible though, for your information, I didnt want anybody to assume me as a maniac. Sigh. We just got connected and this is the first thing we do together, pleasing enough.

That rain was genuinely nostalgically evoking. It brought me back to my alma mater's time. Man, I missed it! I liked playing in the rain with my then best friend, if you're reading this now, guess you know it. Best friend remains in my heart, still.

First day of my examinations, it has nothing much to talk about. I'm just welcoming the other subjects, what to do. Damn, I'm feeling weak, could it be the rain or something? Gotta take a short nap anyway.

On My Way Home

Smiled, looking out. 

I was on my way home, from somewhere. Looking out the window, I wasnt sure whether i was posing it or saw something caught my eyes. I smiled. I was surrounded by the night; I realised that nights are always similar to an anonymity. We are thousands and thousands miles away from the stars above the sky; under them and we dont even really observe it with our eyes, to discover the changing course that truly happens every day.

What's wrong with the world now? Disasters, as well as calamities are happening sooo like the times we wash ourselves every day. Terrorisims? Same equation. Anyway, accidents are boiled with the recklessness or whatsoever, the anger that lies in ourselves. Innocent legs should cross the road with a sense of guilty, look both sides around for the very protected safety.

Those who are involved, get well soon, my friend; those who are sacrificed, rest in peace. Nights are conspicuous; treasure our lives, well at least for the nights.

Long Time Coming

Can you whisper in my year? Where have you been?

Exams are coming. Exams are approaching. Exams are killing!!-Nothing much, i just want to find some space to holler the words out. People pass me by would have presumed I'm a lunatic, if i ever shouted it out.

My tasks been piling, it wont ever stop piling. Not even when the examination arrives sooon. I wonder why the teacher's been willing to give us that much homework, do they consider themselves as those dedicated teachers? No questions, some of them does. Especially the one who's on my mind right now, at least at the moment. Hilarious, there will always be someone, as in teacher who's really qualified as a dedicated teacher on my mind, why am i saying that then? Sigh..

Examinations been mudding me. I am made dizzy by it. How strong it could be.. There's only one week left, oh my, I dont have the guts to face it. Again, where have you been? You'll show up right through me, when the time comes, why? Because i deserve it..and it will be.

My guts.

Missing

Just drop by to release some words. I couldnt keep it inside anymore.

i miss my friends.

The one-day visit has made my day. But sadly, time wont stay still.

Contented

Flashbacks of lifestyles and experiences for the past three years in chong hwa has come back to my mind, vividly.

I was so nervous awaiting today to arrive. I kept on pushing pressure and negative expectations to myself, about how my long-time-no-see's friends in chong hwa would have to say about me. I was so stupid and been a nuisance yesterday, asking my recent friends to accompany me, or something. Though i know it's never gonna happen.

I arrived at chong hwa really early today, and was the centre of attraction, as i'm the only one who's without the usual pinafore that i used to wear. Thinking bout the days, i kinda feel like turning back the time. Poor thing, there's no time machine in this world, or maybe there really is, i wouldnt have the opportunity to make a turnback. That's life, i gotta live with it, since i've made my decision. Fortunately, i'm blessed with some good friends right now.

My friends were great. And some unexpected things happened, i feel totally awesome. My friends and i had a few conversations, with the ex-classmates and the double-the-ex-classmates. Then, we went to have our same old spot to have our delicious pizza, i was so damn full man! The havent-heard-for-some-time's laughing came back again!

The only thing that made me feel bad was my ex-headmaster! He just discharged from the hospital for having heart attack few months ago. Well, i saw him today. He's put off his weight and i'm quite sad about it. Hope he'll recover very soon. He was such a great headmaster. He talked to me today, again!! The day i left the school, he actually talked to me and took a photograph with me. I really love him.

Anyway, time has passed. Gotta pick up the pieces of mine to start off my tasks and the final examinations before the long break.


The au revoir has brought me the biggest awe. Friendship will never end but i'm afraid the relationship will get strained. Friends forever is no doubt, dude.

Open your eyes

Facing the same scenery every day will make us feel the boredom, i moved the furnitures in my room to feel the satisfaction back again. i wanted to have a change, that explains the purpose of doing so.

Looking up at the ceiling in my room, i can tell it's purely white. We wake up every morning and what is the first thing that comes to your mind? What's the first thing that you see? What's the first thing you do? And, what's the very first thing you wanna see, do and think of? Sincerely, no one will really dare and even not wanting to open their eyes.

I dont mind struggling every day and rush my way to school every day to meet up with my friends and attend some lessons that is utter hokum, i just want a simple life; not as hectic as the day in this city nowadays. I wanna take a rest, com'on, dare me to move. I will still carry on with this lifestyle. Anyhow, i can fight no more and i am drowning inside, precisely.


'If one hand could become the symbol of our independence, think what all our hands combined can do for the nation!'- The Star newspaper.

We are responsible for the place that we presumed as our homeland, how can i ever forget my homeland's independance day? Never. Anyone here proud to be a Malaysian? Look up for the title of this article before you answer this question.

Happy Belated National Day!!

Lost

I am lost right now, having nothing done even the holiday has already started.

Lost in a way of regretting, I dont think I'm gonna do anything except being a couch potato later though. Lazy. What a horrible slacker i could be.

I have changed. Being more mature, I have experienced a lot of tough situation and am going through now. Wish things would go well soon.

Maturity...

Two in a Row

I had a meaningful weekend; last saturday and sunday. Really appreciate those who casted me with the golden opportunities; if those activities werent for them, i wouldnt have gone there.

I went to a play last saturday. Went there with my mates and my mom. A renowned actor, writer, director, a humourous performer and now owner of a quaint little book shop-Thor Kah Hoong. You might not heard of his name, but if you're one of The Star readers, you'll slightly know it. The play was Brickfields...Now & Then. It was a dramatized story of his childhood. I was quite aware of my mom's reaction before she sees the play, because she has never liked to go for plays; she went but I shall remain silence of the reason. The reason is never something bad okay? Phew. My mom turned out to be enjoying the play. Sighed. She mentioned that Thor's childhood was more or less the same as hers, maybe she felt a lil bit of intimation and a flashback of her childhood. I know now, the lifestyles of my parents' so-called 'good old days'.

I went to Nan Yang Newspaper consequtively on sunday. It was knowledgeably wonderful. It was sponsored by Taylor's College. Reasonably, there were lecturers and graduators from Taylor's College, telling us the advantages of the Mass Communication field. I used to have the thought of be a part of it, changed due to some reasons. Right now, I cant make up my mind. Ridiculous?

Later, there was a local singer's appearance, yuheng. Frankly, I didnt have any clues on her until I met her that day. Sorry and thanks to my friends, who really worked hard for the so-called gathering.



'I believe that entropy is the giver of life. Improvements always come at a price. There is a certain magical glow about your youth or childhood as it is a time where you have no adult responsibilities.' -Thor Kah Hoong, on why do people call it the 'good old days'.

Treasure your childhood. Make it unforgettable and profoundly expressive.


Brickfields...Now & Then 

Suffering during holiday

It's holiday.

Unlike the previous holiday that I had, I have to do my homework and project. My homework are like virgin books, piling like a hill, all untouched!! That's the point. I was thinking if i could absent on the 30th August, coz the next day is Nasional day. And now, the thought is kinda spammed by my Add Maths teacher. He wants us to hand in the project on that day, otherwise whole class demerit 20 marks!!

This holiday is like nothing to me. Still have to do the homework whole day long. Look, how to relax when the tests are just around the corner. If u know me well, you'll surely get the thought that I actually wont have the time to do preparations. Hopefully, the carmen you've known for some time or years, will change.

The workload is huge. Tell me, how to have fun with the work? No answer for this question, because it's never going to be fun. Face the reality, face it carmen. It's life, you gotta live with it.

Holiday? I dont think so, seriously.

Blurry

I was having a nice nap, but I think that dream was a mess. I kinda remember what happened to my body and soul in the dream, but never hoped that to be happened in real life. The reality. Reality will overcome it.

Wake up from dreams are something dangerous, you'll never know whether the dream that you have just dreamt of will happen to you, sometimes you wish it would, of course. Put aside the thought at the moment, it's difficult and wake up! Wake up to reality, never looked back to the past; there are more interesting stuffs that worth your concern.

My dream was one thing really bad, wish it never happened. Gotta live through it, without fear. Come on.

Right Now

I dont know what I am going through now, and I dont know what I want all these years. Is it just a better result? There's no point when we struggle so hard all these years doing homework and revision and when we've grown up, all that you're doing right now is useless.

No one can predict the future, that's really true. No time wasting to hope for the better things to come to us, we gotta appreciate things happening to us, who knows if anything will happen to us in next few seconds.

I'm feeling numb. I'm coming back to no one every day, I feel so lonely. Everybody's busy doing their things. I have my own things to worry about too, just that maybe I've spent too much time thinking, and leads me to the wrong path. No one's there to correct it and point it out for me. I'm losing my way, hesitating. Friends do help, but not all the time, dude.

I'm tired of it.

What about me? Part II

Here goes again:

Turn ons
Libra needs peace and harmony in all their relationship so help them maintain that. Venus the ruling planet gives them beauty and they have weakness for people who can compliment them about their beauty (you will not have to make an effort to do that anyway). You can help Libra seek union and partnership in life. If you have Libra partner you can be sure to share beautiful and pleasurable moments together.

Turn offs
Libra is kind and gentle soul but very argumentative. Hence do not start an argument or discussion unless of course you are free and do not know how to pass your time. They hate to lose and most probably in between of discussion they may change their side too (remember scales can tilt) and still continue arguing from other side. Do not push your Libra partner into making decisions. They will keep weighing pros and cons and may still not be able to come to any decision. Have patience!

Dull

Wasted another saturday again.

Sitting by my desk, I wish to finish off my additional mathematic tasks just now. Failed again. I lifted my white flag to my darling and dived into it, my bed. It's my best accompany but it can cause a vigorous person to mutate into a lethargic person.

Sometimes I do things that I regret. I try hard to cover that particular thing although it doesnt affect me much and yet I fail to do it, sometimes. I find reasons for myself to make myself comfortable again. Time seems to play a trick on us. If you want something, it flows by or vice versa. I believe that's what that makes our life so interesting.

The worst is never over coz another worse thing is waiting for us everyday. I wake up in the mornings, look into the mirror, wonder what will happen next. Everything that I expected wont seem to be, it turns out to be another totally unexpected thing instead. I tell myself not to expect things as expected things will never happen. Obviously, I dont allow myself to expect the positive things; afraid the bad will come.I am extremely conscious that thinking this way is unhealthy, so no expectations for me.I do aim high for better achievement, this is better, you know, just aim.

Life is beautiful. Smile to the world and live with it, my pal.

What about me?

I saw something from the net just now and below are the things I have found to describe me. Do you guys think it's accurate or is it just crap? No fear, tell me straightout and be frank of course. No pressure, just honestly.

Here goes:
You are mysterious, never selfish and get interested in things easily. Your day can be sad or happy depending on your mood. You are popular between friends but you can act stupid at times, and forget things easily. You go for person that's trustworthy.

Cheers.

Misunderstanding vs Benevolence

I dont know what happened to me these days, always being misunderstood by someone. I mean, friends and teachers. I didnt happen to fightback, as in tell them the truth. Just let it be, they will understand me someday, I thought. As a student, it's better if we dont mess with the teachers. Dont you think so?

Everyone grows up with misunderstandings. I learnt a lot from those though. We've gotta give in to avoid arguments. Peace finds harmony.


"Magnanimous people have no vanity, they have no jealousy, they have no reserves, and they feed on the true and solid wherever they find it. And what is more, they find it everywhere." -Van Wyck Brooks

A Special Someone

Someone special guides me
Someone special teaches me
Someone special judges me
Someone special encourages me
Someone special nurtures me
Someone special mentors me
Someone special makes me smile
Someone special cracks me up
Someone special cries with me
Someone special confides in me
Someone special consoles me
Someone special grows with me
Someone special lends me a hand
Someone special goes out with me
Someone special won't abandon me
Someone special stays with me
Someone special walks beside me

The list is endless.
I dont mean to specify who that is, just anyone could be.

"Silence makes the real conversations between friends. Not the saying, but the never needing to say is what counts." -Margaret Lee Runbeck

I've always believed in that quotation, because I have found mine and am hoping to be given more in the future ahead.
A special friend.



A special pouch of mine filled with stones.

Sickening

I had my oral test today. I happened to be oblivious to it and didnt do any preparations for it, despite the fact that I didnt expect myself to be called today.

I must be having bad lucks coz i'm the last who was called. I didnt want it to be delayed until next lesson because of the teacher, saying that should anyone who wanted to call upon that oral test will be deducted 50% of the marks. I didnt want my marks to be cut down, so I did it with my common general knowledge... I wasnt having much confidence facing the teacher's stern look. When I was there in front of her, I was having butterflies. I did tell my teacher frankly that I didnt do any preparations but she still didnt want to give me a chance.She said she was tensed seeing me doing that oral, heh.

My topic was Child Abuse. I did the elaboration by myself and it hiddenly means that I got stuck in the middle, a lot. I was damn sad and nervous, but still I had to face it just now. Hell.

Grrr--I dropped 2 marks!!I was quite disappointed just now. But, come to think of it, I did it right there..without any preparations. I can still accept it though. There's still 1 oral test left for next year, work it carmen!!

 

 

A Visit

I went to Air Force Museum today. It's located at the Mes Wira Angkasa, RMAF Base, Sungei Besi, yeah, it's near MBS-Methodist Boy School. Shit, I have to wake up early in the morning. We ended up to be the first batch to arrive at the MBS and then only we were taking off to the Air Force Museum.

When we reached there, there was no better. We still have to wait; the interactors from other school were so 'punctual' and thank them very much. What to do... So I just waited there and pray for excitements coming right up.

As usual, we have to be seated before the speech given by those so-called VIPs in the function. That is a vocational service project for the career opportunities in the uniformed services. To foster the ideals of service as a basis of worthy enterprise. I was sorry that I think I wasnt paying full attention on those speech, kinda feeling sleepy and bored. *yawn*

They shown us the career opportunities in the Royal Malaysian Air Force, as well as the Police Force. They are paid so well, but the thought of being one of those categories didnt flow to my mind. Sorry. After that, there was a personal experience being told by a police officer. That was tremendously cool!! Their refreshments could be the favourite part which we enjoyed the most.Not to mention the visit to the RMAF Museum, that was well, acceptable, just nice.Forgetful me forgot to bring camera along!! What a huge mistake!!

On our excursion to the MBS, there was a lil' misunderstood with the interactors from the Victoria Institution.They played a trick and built up our curiosity man! And then something happened. Sigh. That was definitely my friend's fault. Anyways, no worries!

A delightful visit.

 

TGI's Friday

Another week has come to an end. At least almost.
How I loved today...

It was raining. The weather's been cold and chilly. Just exactly what I wanted.. Looking out the window, I saw a plant. And, i was dreaming, during accounting lesson. Teacher's masterpiece of howling a lullaby to us was such a success!! No offense, teacher. Thanks for your hardwork though.

Not meeting Good Friend. At least we can still contact via email or sms. What a great science and technology. Chill.

 

My Day

Wednesday again. Sometimes i like wednesday, sometimes i dont. Why? well..mainly because some reasons for sure. I enjoyed wednesdays for the passed few months ever since i've transferred to this school, (for your information, yes i am a new student!! but, i guess not anymore. it's already July man!) because i used to have a good friend who has transferred to another school somewhere in Pahang that would play volleyball with me..there were four of us then. This thing could be complicated, you know, me-transferring-to-this-school-then-a-good-friend-of-mine-transfer-to-another-school thing. She has left us for exactly 52 days and i guess it'll be 52 weeks soon. How i longed to meet her since she's gone. Without her presence, i can not play volleyball that joyfully as i was, this is due to the fact that there are only three of us now, not to say we're selfish, it's just that we like to play in a small coterie of people. Her absence has stopped my urge to play volleyball.

I played the basketball today. I'm sorry for the opponents. I grabbed the ball from them for my team's sake. But, that was just a game. Watching the ball bouncing on the floor, i thought of my ex-high school days...Sigh. I played volleyball and basketball then. Err..i did mention here that i'm not a good player at neither one of them, didnt i? Haa, besides those activities, i 'talked' under a shady place which is something i loved. What to worry about, my teacher didnt care..he was being so nice to us. IF he really turns around, we just pretend like we're playing, that's all i did then. But hey, everyone likes it right? Okay, except for guys. Alright, that was history. Now, my time is controlled by the teacher. She will make sure all of us are doing something, at least not something i used to do..*sigh*

Actually avoid making things worse then, i didnt mention that there is a new student in my class..by all means..one has gone then one came. I'm still trying to be friends with her.. I think, she's okay anyway. Good Friend is coming back this Friday, maybe. Miss ya and cant wait gal..

 

Life

How time passed..it's already Friday!! man, i like Friday..it just feels so great..put aside my homework for a moment i mean. I know, homework are endless..you are given homework everyday..yeah..i mean it! I tried to finish my homework that's given out on that particular day..but i just..couldnt! Why?? Why?? Is there anything wrong with me? or just me..of being lazy. I guess so, but i dont want all these..really!! i wanna finish my homework earlier... so that i can do some other useful things, which i'm interested of course.
 
Wanna know what are those ?? If you know me well, guess you've already have the answer..anyway, to satisfy your curiosity, things like..reading my story books..scan through the lyrics.. and all..sigh..these are some things not anyone will do but, that's just me.. :p
 
I'll be going for a body check up tomorrow, kinda fear of that.God, please dont let anything to be fallen on me...Hell yeah..this leads me to the hard time that i've once been through.. I've seen my beloved grandma died of liver cancer. It hurts. Argh..i still miss her... even if she's not here with us right now, but i know she has become our guardian angel up above..
enough of that, i dont wanna recall the moments we've shared..the moments we've rushed all the way to the hospital..the moments..  
Anyway, just hope everything goes right tomorrow...Look, i'm still hoping!!
No matter what i do, i just cant get myself off the Hope.  
 
Sometimes I shudder myself to realise the fact that fact is doubtless, still fact. Fact hurts, sometimes. Indeed, it surprises us at times as well..
Life is inconceivable. It offers challenges.. And I believe, that's what that makes our live so unpredictable. So unfold.


what a peaceful PEACE on beach.. 
 

Chaos 'N' Confusion

One chaotic question that lingered in my mind for quite some time is that why do we have to face fears, anxieties, discoveries, confusion, hesitation... and all. I know, this is a way of life. Life's like that, but why do we get it? We asked for those, I reckon.

Pressure and stress..are part of those as well. We have to get rid of those..as we, human beings cannot avoid stress despite the fact that prolonged stress can be harmful. That is detrimental to our health which is why we need to hang out. Yay..I love hanging out...shopping..even window shopping!! yeah..
Yet most importantly, no music, no life!! I'm soo into Hanson recently..sighh..wow..I have soo many idols..couldnt even list all of them here..you name it!!!!

Back to the topic, hesitation and doubts..*blushing*..are somewhat the feelings I cant runaway from..I dont know why..but, I'm a Libran though..hehe..Librans are mostly indecisive..I've gotten better though, I can make my own decision latterly..
Hopefully, it'll last long...

Hope.

Everytime...

britney... 

The song, Everytime seems to melt thousands of people's heart. Maybe that's because it says something related to their soul..their indescribable feelings..I'm not excluded.
Without a doubt, The Reason by Hoobastank has become my favourite. I play it every day..not being exaggerated, I turned on my CD player for that song every morning when I'm putting my school's uniform on!!

The Beginning

Here I go again. My own blog.
I used to have one one year ago..
I stopped blogging due to my sloth, but allow me to assure you, this will never happen again. Never. Please continue to show your support.
Today will be engraved into my memory as today's the day i begin my blog again. The 11th of July 2004.